Quick poem, would you comment?

Question

If it were only that simple

I command a fleet through turbulent seas

Adventures composed in water’s deep

When I wave my hands my servants march

Moves hastily through the chilly March

At morning my riches shine for all to see

For the night to envy my silver glee

I breathe the air embraced with life

And feast my eyes upon the nature's might

But my ships are not made of stone

But twigs in streams that strayed alone

I do not command a single soul

But leaves neath oak that fell down low

My jewels are not crowned of gold

But sun and moon that keep me warm

Some would say I'm lonely, poor

I sweep the streets and I am nor

Answer 1

Thats really good:D you should try getting it published

Answer 2

I really like this, but the last  line detracts from an otherwise very good poem.  The last line doesn't have to rhyme and could be a surprise as well..."I sweep the streets and I am rich"

Answer 3

I love this....

it is great

answer mine please

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

that is wonderful  it painted a wonderful image in my mind i can only begin to comprehend what it symbolizes