R U really suppose to believe no matter what?

Question

OK, when is trust just being stupid? It's 4am and I'm wide awake because my husband is "working late." I have no way to contact him yet again, tonight its because he has no cell phone and the building he's in has no phones. Before when he worked all day and all night and we couldn't contact him (we have two children) the reasons were the cell phone automatically shuts off at 10 and he forgot to turn it back on until 7am, the battery died and he didn't have a charger, and the last one is he's staying at a friends apt. and he hasno landline in his house. OK, YA give it to me straight, do you keep trusting because you have no proof and these things really could be happening? I don't have any proof other than inconsideration, which doesn't prove someone is a cheat. What do I do?

Answer 1

I'd be willing to bet he's cheating, my husband had all kinds of excuses like yours does. You need to get someone to watch the kids one night and go to where he works in a borrowed car about the time he is to get off from work.  Sit and watch it's the only why you will ever know for sure why put yourself through all the anxiety?  9 times out of 10 you should just trust in your own gut feeling.  Take a stand now before it's to late.  

Answer 2

if that happen all the time it means something is wrong but if it happen once every moon time no u should have some trust in him

Answer 3

Regardless of if he's cheating or now, you two have serious relationship problems.  At the very least he does not like spending time with his family.  Worst case would be cheating.  

Why not talk to him about it and explain that you have suspicions that he is cheating.  Check his reaction and discuss the deeper issues in your relationship.  You owe it to you children to try and solve the problem prior to divorce.  Too many kids grow up in split families.  With that being said, you should not be a door mat simply because you have kids.  Work together.

Answer 4

first thing is ask him straight out is he cheating then remind him that WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE mabee he will cut back the "WORK" hours  

Answer 5

I do not know where you live, but no cell phone I know of automatically turns off at 7.  

I hate to say it but yes, there is something going on.

Answer 6

I have never heard of a phone shutting off automatically at a certain time.

Answer 7

Trust in a marriage is huge.  Consideration is part of that trust.  I have a hard time believing that he could not call at all.  I would take a look at the rest of the situation.  It sure has the signs of cheating.

Answer 8

This answer is SURPRISINGLY simple.

TRUST - but verify.

Arrange some babysitting - with someone you can trust... and drop in on him.

This isn't rocket surgery(sic).

Answer 9

If you think your husband is cheating then all you have to do is follow him get some one you trust to watch your children you don't have to tell this person what you are doing just for Peace of mind you need to no either way its no good for you or your family you really need to find out before you go out of your mind I really hope he is at work  

Answer 10

Hire a detective to follow him, he'll soon tell you whether the creep is cheating or not...but it looks to me like he is.

Answer 11

Sounds too fishy to me.  I would suggest a private detective or some sort of mic or camera from the spy ware store to prove it.  

Get him a cellphone asap, no matter what he says and tell him to keep it on, or sign the divorce papers now.  Tell him that you are tired of not being able to contact him.  Tell him that if there were an emergency there would be no way to contact him, so you want him to KEEP IT ON at all times.  ATT has a plan for local, long distance etc., and it NEVER cuts off!!!  Buy him a car charger and 2 household chargers.  Tell him that the battery had better not run down!  

I would be sick of that bullsh!t!!  

Answer 12

Would definitely have my suspicions but in a marriage, innocent until proven guilty...

Answer 13

Yeah, hes really trying hard to cover his tracks, but its pretty obvious what hes really doing. Either way, whether it be cheating or inconsideration, I would imagine hes difficult to live with. So no matter what hes really doing, he sounds like a loser, and it doesnt sound like hes in love with you anymore. Surprise him with a divorce

Answer 14

Even if you did have proof, he'd still lie and then you would feel like you're crazy until you've had enough of it. and then miraculously he would have a girlfriend a day after you break up, but still he would say he didn't cheat. I'm kind of biased so I think he's cheating.  

Answer 15

Check his paycheck stub. If hours are missing, then you should be concerned.  

Answer 16

I would hate to be in your postion. You can have alot of hope in this case but it already seems to be boiled down to cheating.  All you can really do is catch him and leave him or just flat out leave him.  I know its going to suck for your kids but in the long run it will be better for all of you.  (I do give your husband credit thats alot of excuses he flew over you) catch him once shame on him catch him twice shame on you.

Answer 17

Hire a private investigator! The proof will be given and you don't have to stay up! Sounds like he may be cheating. And apparently likes to give a lot of B.S.

Answer 18

There's nothing wrong to trust, after you'd been oath with your sacred vow as man and wife.

However if trust become a "trushing someone", then it's better to check your man sometime. It can be yourself or hiring private detective to do the job for you.  

Answer 19

that sounds suspicious.....i would question the pants off him.

Answer 20

the right answer is yes you should trust him but girl to girl sounds kinda fishy what you need to do is a lookout and sneakaround on him to really find out whats goin on if you got a vehicle suprise him at work with a midnight snack just to seem like you really arent being sneaky think outside the box ma

Answer 21

Whatever is going on, he is certainly being evasive enough and not honest.  You want to believe him and he certainly has been able to get away with this.  I would (without his knowledge...stop questioning him anyway,  because he is not honest and has a way of making YOU look wrong) start snooping.  If he is working late, is there a way for you to verify his hours that he actually works? A pay stub?  You really need to hire a private investigator and have someone follow him. If he has a "friend with an apt and no phone..what is the friend's name?" Don't ask him because he will know you are on to him.  Is he vindictive?  Be careful. He won't tell you, cause he is lying.  Start putting money and valuables in a safe place, out of the house, cause, unless you condone this behavior, sooner or later the two of you are over.  You have to do what is best for your children.  In a good relationship, a father is available somehow..even thru e-mail!  I have been in a top security job where the only phones and computers were classified and cell phones did not work.  I always had a way for someone to get a message thru our security network if something happened to my child that was an emergency.  There is a reason he doesn't want you to contact him and it is not work, it is personal.  He is scum for keeping you on the side and having his selfish life private.

Answer 22

Trust, in a relationship and marriage, is when 2 people learn to RELY on each other.   Rely on truth, and being forthcoming with your spouse/partner.  Promises should be followed through, and this is how trust is 'earned' over time.  However, trust differs from faith.

You could say trust is 'earned' because it's been proven over time (short or long).

Faith is believing (and trusting) without proof.  That's why it's very difficult to "believe in something" with your heart when your mind is rationalizing and telling you other things.

Additionally, if you talk with your spouse, and you are honest and open about what you're feeling, it's then his responsibility to be the man, and figure out a way to comfort your fears, problems, or general woes.  If you feel you're being lied to, there's easy ways to find out.   And when push comes to shove, would you 'get to know' someone that gave you the creeps?  No, most likely not.   So don't force yourself to trust someone who does not put forth the effort to earn your trust.

Answer 23

All cheaters should find a wife as gullible as you.

What house doesn't have a phone these days? Who is this friend of his without any electronic communications devices? Come on, the guy's pulling the wool over your eyes and the blankets over someone else's s**y body.

Answer 24

sorry to tell but it's definetly cheat...