Racism in Preschool?? Any thoughts on how to deal with it?

Question

My husband & I have moved to the suburbs - for the supposedly superior schools. We live in a predominately white neighborhood. My son is 1 of 3 (half) African American children in a school of about 125 kids. He has recently begun not wanting to go to school. About 3 weeks ago he told me that a little girl in his class told him that he had ugly skin. & today while on a play date with a child & parents I would NEVER accuse of promoting racism, the child proceeded to tell us all at the dinner table that we all had nice light skin while my son was the only one at the table with yucky dark skin, “light is much better” is what she said. Her parents were appalled. How should I handle this? I plan on talking w/ the director but I would like to offer some suggestions on how they can help promote cultural sensitivity and understanding. Does anyone know of any books, programs or other teaching aids that could be helpful for preschoolers? Thank you all in advance.

Answer 1

TEACH YOUR CHILD ABOUT THAT IF HE WOULD KNOW HE WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS BY HIMSELF .

I THINK BLACK PEOPLE ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN WHITE .

Answer 2

thats going to be hard. good luck

Answer 3

I don't really have a lot of experience on this, but what you should do is to talk with the principal, and explain him the situation so he/she could have a meeting with the teachers telling them to explain to the children that we all are different, and we should be receive and respected like how you are. That it doesn't matter if your skin is dark or light. I hope that this small paragraph would help you in something.

Answer 4

Being a director at a preschool I would definitely suggest talking to your Director.  She/He may not even be aware of the issue and by bringing it to their attention, they will be able to address the issue to their teachers and maybe suggest during circle time talking about peoples differences. Maybe you can even suggest  http://www.diversitycouncil.org/elActivi...

this gives the teachers lesson plans on different cultures and helps children see that others are different, but that is okay.

Answer 5

What a terrible situation. I would first advise to talk to your son's teacher, so if he/she overhears anything, he/she will be able to react immediately and appropriately. Ask her to say to the child (and possibly to the class), "In this school we do not tolerate name calling. It is not nice when you hurt other people's feelings. It does not matter what color skin everyone has. What REALLY matters is how you are on the inside: that means being nice to everyone around you." Talk to the director also, so that he/she can arrange guests like someone had suggested above me. You could also offer to visit your son's class one day, and bring in pictures of your family, your children, and explain that your son is just like everyone else on the inside. If this keeps happening, ask your son to identify which children in particular are teasing him, and then call the parents if you deem nescessary. Calmly let them know of the situation, and ask them if they could explain to their child about how they are making your son feel bad. Judging by the reaction of the young girl's parents you mentioned already, I think you'll get a positive response.

Also:

If your son is really bothered and gets to the point where he dreads school, ask if the school can provide him with a guidance counselor or a trusted teacher/administrator that can help sort out his feelings. Sometimes, another person in school can give him the support he needs when you're not there.

Good luck with everything! I wish you well!

Answer 6

There is much awareness needed, that is true.

My opinion is that you should first start by seeking within.  The world will not change in its opinion any time soon.  You need to help build the character of your kid to be able to deflect such opinions (honest or malicious) and not let him feel so negative about it that it start affecting his confidence.  

There can be many reasons why a kid is picked on.

I am sure that there are books to help.  Just like to give you some morale support in the matter.  Good luck.

Answer 7

I have to tell you how I handled this with my son.  When he was little he loved a television show that had an African American child living in a white household.  One day while watching the show he turned off the TV and said he wasn't going to watch his show any more.  I asked why and he said "Because he looks different than me."  I made a sad face and said "Does that mean you won't play with me any more?"  He asked why I said that and I answered "Because my eyes are green and yours are blue, so I look different than you."  He laughed and said he would still play with me.  And I said "Well, would you still if my skin looked different?"  He turned the TV back on and hasn't ever said anything like that since!  He is now grown and has a wide variety of friends of all religions, ethnic origins, etc.

I work for Head Start and we teach the children to look at people as people first, because the external packaging really doesn't mean a whole lot.  There are a LOT of books that help to present this idea.  One of my favorites is We Are All Alike, We Are All Different.  It was written by a group of kindergartners, and kids love it because it is child written and child illustrated.  Perhaps you could purchase a copy of it (I got mine from Scholastic) to give as a gift to the school and discuss teaching cultural acceptance.with the director.  I would be surprised if they're not already doing this.  I think maybe the young lady was really just noticing a difference.  Her mom should have immediately said "Really?  I think his skin is a beautiful color!"  and given him a hug.  That would have shown acceptance and love and I bet the little girl's attitude would have changed.  There is nothing wrong with noticing differences.  The wrongness lies in attributing negative meaning to differences.

Answer 8

Let me begin by answering from a preschooler's perspective.  When I was in preschool, I vividly remember something I did along these lines.  I was walking into my mom's work and there was a lady that was working at the desk as you walk in.  I remember looking at her and saying, "You're fat."

Not only do I remember it...I remember why I did it.  I thought she might need to know.  It was nothing against her personally - I just thought she didn't know this and it was some information I felt she should know.  

I feel embarrassed about it now, but also realize that's how children's minds work.  That's where we need to step in and teach the children about how to talk to other people.

The best thing you can do is education.  Teach children that people have different color skin - mainly because of where they came from or where their ancestors came from.  Show the child on a globe where Africa is and explain how people there work, live, what some differences are, and anything else you can think of.  In essence, give them a reason to see having darker skin as another form of beauty.

At this age, unless they've been taught it, it's not racism in the sense that we think of it.  It can be hurtful, though.  And it can grow into something terrible.  I believe we need to teach children early about the fact that everyone is different and we should all treat each other with respect rather than try to teach that further down the line.

As far as how to promote that, I...don't have an easy solution.  I would start with your son and teach him that his difference is beautiful.  You could do this by helping him work on something to present to his class to help them understand more why he looks different from others.  

For me, cultural diversity is already part of our curriculum.  The children are often engaged learning about other countries and cultures.

I would talk to the principal and teacher.  They might be on the lookout for things like this, but unaware it happened.  Any good teacher and principal would want to help with this and the fact you want to pitch in as well will be greatly appreciated.

I hope something good comes out of this.  View it as an opportunity to educate and you'll be successful.

Matt

Answer 9

I used to teach in a daycare in a predominately white area, and my son was the only African American. It was a little easier because I told the kids about different cultures. You have to remember that it is not the kid's fault. They just don't know. The problem is that when you go on the play dates the parents should be correcting their children about this. I don't know if anyone ever said anything to my son, but if it were really that bad I would talk to the director. It may be that thy don't want any AA kids going there. But, what it boils down to is money. if they get a rep for being racist, that may deter both white and black patrons.

Answer 10

When my son was in early elementary - P3-1st - he was in a private school that had families from many different nationalities and belief systems.  Something that this school did, which I thought was great, was to have parents from different countries and belief systems come in and do a presentation for the kids - a Hindu mom came and did a Diwali day, a Chinese mom did a Chinese New Year day, a Muslim mom did a Ramadan/Eid day, a Jewish mom did a Hanukkah day, and a Christian mom did a Christmas or Easter day.

Each presentation was given from the viewpoint of "this is what people from ___________ celebrate" or "this is what ___________ believe".  Nothing was presented as "this is what you should believe", but as "this is what your friends do at home and why".  

You didn't state whether the school is public or private; if it's public, obviously nothing could be done on a religious belief level, but things could still be done on a cultural level.  Moms and dads from different backgrounds - German, Italian, African-American, etc. - could come in a few times a year and show some of their family traditions, bring some recipes, maybe some easy crafts to go along with their background.

I know that there are programs for this level, but the ones I've seen are very biased toward various belief or societal systems...quite frankly, I think it's wrong to do that to indoctrinate preschoolers and early elementary kids in various worldviews.  However, having 3-6 families a year come in and do a 1-2 hour Cultural Day could really help with showing the kids how to relate to each other on an age-appropriate level.

Hope that helps!

Answer 11

There are many wonderful books for preschoolers that either feature children of color or address the issue directly. A good one of those is :Black is Brown is Tan." However fighting this sort of attitude among little kids is more than just books. All areas of the preschool classroom should contain materials from diverse cultures. There should be a variety of multi-cultural baby dolls in the housekeeping area. The accessories in the block area should include people of many races. So should the posters on the wall. Even the puzzles should be diverse. This diversity should extend into the older grades. Too many schools are using Black History Month as the token acknowelgement of diversity instead of providing materials that depict people of all races participating in every day activities. :Little kids don't really understand the impact of what they say. They tend to repeat what they hear at home or blurt out whatever comes to mind. I'm White, but a very angry African American three year old called me the "n" word once when I wouldn't let him do what he wanted in my nursery school classrrom. He obviously had no idea of the meaning but he understood the tone.

     By all means talk to the director. Make sure that the children are being helped to understand that words can hurt people's feelings. The emphasis should be on being kind to each other. Singling out only the African American children will serve to reinforce the idea that they are "different" and may have the opposite effect from what you want.

Answer 12

Young children often model what they hear and see from adults.  I live in a suburb and teach in an inner city school where every single child is African American.  I can remember parents having concern with my white skin, but after a few months I was able to gain their respect.  Children in the suburbs here seem to grow up playing and accepting each other quite well. I recommend that you openly address the comment from the child at the time it is uttered. Use a kind voice and an appropriate language-let them know that everyone has different skin tones. There is no black or white. I sincerely wish you the very best. I know you must worry, but if you have the parents there for a play date let them help you address it. Children want to please their families.