Random unedited poem, what do ya think?

Question

Another piece in my collection of random unedited poems. I'm thinking of making a book actually I'll call it "What has happened to my witty humor?"By annonamis. Mhm. Well I wrote this while randomly wondering around my complex about ten minutes ago, and would like some opinions. It has no title nor a specific meaning, if you see one tell me. And I'm 13 (and the spelling is more like 9) so keep the harsh judgment to yourself. Please and thanks! =D

It terrifies and intrigues me

skulcing the way it does

It's the monster under the bed

It's the missing page of a book

It's what keeps me up at night

And what confides me to these bedroom walls

It's the second shadow always by my side

Answer 1

I actually like your poem.  You're correct in that your spelling is in need of correction, but what impresses me is that even without you realizing it, your poem "does" have a meaning...and it's fairly clear.  "It" is the "second shadow" always by your side...great image!  You tell us that it's not something you can see, because you compare it to several things that you can't see (the missing page in the book was outstanding!)...it's that "image" that "shadow" that you "feel", but don't see...and you say it's that way because it "skulks the way it does".  Really, this is so insightful I'm nothing short of amazed.  I think you have a malapropism (use of the wrong word) in the second to last line where you say "confides me"...it looks like you might have meant "confines me"...the strange thing is that "confides" might actually be the right word for the wrong reason...I think you meant that it "kept you in" the bedroom or within the bedroom walls, but when you read "confides me to these bedroom walls" it literally means that this unseen part of you "confides" your secrets "to" the bedroom walls.  If this is what you meant, then you hit the nail on the head...if you meant the other thing, keep quiet about it and change your story, because the second meaning is waaaay better and a very mature thought.

Clean up your spelling...make a very good copy of this and if you ever decide to enter a poem in a contest, this should be the one...it's one of the best I've ever seen from someone your age...even much older poets would love to have written this one.

nicely done...keep writing...don't expect this good a result of all the poems you write on the spur of the moment...and don't be afraid to actually edit them before posting them for review...but thanks for this one...it's a keeper.

Answer 2

nice, i love short, deep, random, meaningless, meaningful poems like these! i love how the reader gets to decide what it means, like u just put the words out there in their random form, and it actually turns out to be written in great form, free form, my favorite poetry ever! good job, keep writing =)