Rate my poem for my summer project?

Question

DONT BE TO MEAN ABOUT MY P0EM ;(

Could you be the one

I’ve been waiting for

The one I’ve been dreaming of

Day and night, praying to god

That you would come upon my life

Your are the reason I wake up

And have a smile on my face when

I head off to school, the person that

Makes me spend hours on my hair

And makeup just to impress you

He is that cute, loveable kid that

Goes to my school, which girls want

To have, and brag about him during class

They want you because of your looks

But I want you because you got me hooked

Answer 1

It was cute, but in poetry I personally go more for depth than the middle-school-girl-in-love theme (again, just personally). You definitely enjoy expressing yourself, so keep it up!

Answer 2

Could use some punctuation marks.

Also, just to be picky:

"god" is always capitalized like this: "God"

5th line down, "upon" should be "into"

6th line down, "your" should be "you"

Other than that, sounds like you have a crush on someone at school! Good luck with that.

Answer 3

Very Nice... Does he know how much you care?Here's one of mine for you...

                    The White Horse

The white horse runs so fast, he seems only a vision. A purpose, a goal, a new found mission. His heart so strong, his mind full of dreams of long ago.To fly like an eagle, to soar in the wind as it blows...

To be free and content, to have peace beyond any words. As he rides the only sounds  to be heard; are the still of the night, the stars shining bright.The full moon glowing as his only light.

His hoofs beat against the ground, making

a silent sound.. For now his dreams will all be found.

This is about my life, how God has set me free.

I wrote it 10 years ago, but it still has profound meaning for me as I make my journey through life with Christ.

Continue poetry dear, I'm 42 now and I've always written. It has been a major out lit for me all my life...  Go get that guy!!!  remember to be hooked to God 1st.

Answer 4

add 'AT LAST'[after hooked]

goooooooooooooood        AT the end 9.9/10

Answer 5

That's amazing! I love it! Good luck! :)

Answer 6

Awnestly i thought it was really romantic, IF you were six or dating him for 3 months . I thought it was a bit obsessive . But i liked it . i would give it a rating of 3.5 out of 5 . A 6 out of 10 .

No affence of course !