Rate my poem piiiiiiiz?

Question

words they seem too slip and slide as my emotions collied with the sickening thought in my minde...

my purest heart for you beats while my analizing mind sterelizes the thoughts that seem to paralize me standing in my place...

its this sick cold healthy warm feeling that creeps over me like a baby caught under the covers...useless to fight but it feels soo nice..

my heart was as cold as ice..but it seemed to melt ad trickle away as you tickled me wth youre words,my minde seems to fight my heart like an argument wich both are wrong..but the noise will stop..and the silence will take its toll on...me....

Answer 1

Hmmm...

I sorta kinda liked it,

no matter how you typed it.

it was a surely win,

so give you a 10.

Answer 2

Your poem is a thoughtful description of your emotional process.

There is a contradiction where you say this conflict "feels so nice".  Was that intentional?

So many spelling mistakes (too, collied, minde, ad, youre, wich, etc.) might cause readers to lose interest in your poem.  On the other hand, it gives it a kind of Chaucerian look.

The idea is not developed very far, but rather simple.  You just express what is happening and say that it will hurt you.  Maybe you intended it that way.

I would rate the poem a C (good, average), and encourage you to keep writing more too.

All the best.

Answer 3

I'm an editor, so the first thing I catch are errors.  When there are so many, I just cannot read the poem.

I would love to know what you are saying, and have given you a few suggestions.

You need to study grammar, punctuation and spelling in order to write a poem that will be considered professional.  If not that, buy Noah Lukeman's Guide to Punctuation and The First Five Pages.

too -- that means in addition, also; over abundance.

minde --  mind

analizing --  analyzing

sterelizes --  sterilizes

paralize -- paralyze

so -- so

ad - and

youre - your (belonging to); you're would be you are.

wth - with

wich - which

cold healthy warm feeling --  can't be all of these

that creeps over me like a baby caught under the covers -- this is dangerous for a baby to be caught under the covers; PJs with feet are the answer.

Once you correct the grammar, spelling and punctuation, please repost so that the poem is truly readable.

T.

Answer 4

for me the words have to really move me and effect me to be authentic. you have good words but they just dont grab hold and take me for a ride. look inside and write your feelings not just cool words -keep trying....