Rate my poem pretty pretty piiiiz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO BASHING!!!!?

Question

it is called "best seller my chapter stellar"

my feelings were like an open book....

it makes me never want to look...away!

so ill stay and i will never look...AWAY!

if life is stranger than fiction you have made me a best seller!

you're chapter is called my chapter stellar...its the longest one because it goes on forever and ever and ever!!!!

i severed my beating heart for you and wrapped it up soo nice..

to see you holding it in you're hands..you are holding my life!!

so.....

TELL ME THE THINGS YOU WANNA HEAR!!!

LET ME WHISPER IN YOU'RE SWEET SOFT EARS...!!!

let me smile when you are near....because...you are my best seller...my loving...chapter stellar........

Answer 1

This is rambling.  Line lengths add structure to words.  And you don't need sentences, just the thoughts, essences.  Editing will help you remove the unneeded words to make the remainder shine.  Here are the start of your lines, edited.

My feelings, like an open book

makes me never want to look away

so I'll stay and never, look away

My life, stranger than fiction...

you have made me, a best seller!

Chapter Stellar is your chapter

the longest, forever and ever....

Answer 2

its okay,but looks more like a love note.

Answer 3

umm not bad... 7/10

Answer 4

For something that looks like it was written in a hurry, it's actually pretty good...

I don't like the first part though:

"my feelings were like an open book....

it makes me never want to look...away!

so ill stay and i will never look...AWAY!"

The first sentence is way too cliched for an opening, and the repetition of the same word at the same point of the sentences doesn't fit this poem neatly.

However, after that I like how you repeat the words 'best', 'seller', 'chapter', and 'stellar' and other words with 'er' endings like 'forever' and 'ever' and 'stranger'.

However corny, I really like this. But I only hope you're not giving it as a love note to a girl... She'll probably think stole it from a children's book or hallmark card.

Answer 5

8/10

not suppose to repeat same word on ending, apart from that pretty good

Answer 6

very interesting...you did alright 7/10

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