Rate my poem????????????

Question

I see you standing here

But you're so far away

Starving for your attention

You don't even know my name

You just see right through me but if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable instead of just invisible.

Answer 1

simply beautiful!

really well written and heartfelt.

good going :]

Answer 2

Wow!!!

(If he only knew!!!)

Answer 3

5/5!

WOW!!!!!

Answer 4

It's beautiful, you are very good!

Answer 5

4 stars

Answer 6

Perhaps switch up the last line, to make it read as strong as the rest.

the 'a' before 'beautiful' is confusing. try 'we could be beautiful, miraculous, unbelievable...' I think it might work better, and it would be less confusing to the reader. And maybe move the invisible part to another line. 'but still we remain invisible' or something to that effect. Something that really punches the reader and the mouth... Stay strong.

Answer 7

Yeah, it was pretty good. Maybe the second last line should be two lines? To fit better with the length of the other lines. But its up to you. I think its good. ( if you wanna split the line into two make the new line start at but)