Re: being stuck in an elevator with THE THREE STOOGES, can you write a funny story, just 4 fun, that includes?

Question

as many of these lines as possible?

1. Yuk! Yuk!

2 I don't want to over-wiggle.

3. What's'a'matter with ya?... 'Are ya nuts?

4. I don't wanna die! I can't die! I haven't seen ______________ yet!

5. You're nuthin' but skin 'n bones... with 7 layers of fat.

6. A mild brain hemmorage.

7. The Bible,Shakespeare or TV Guide....one of those.

8. Ohhhhhhh GAWD!! We're all going straight to h**l!

9. My hand to God....... I may be having a stroke.

10. My philosophy of life is _____________

11. Call Dr. Kevorkian.

12. A very strange paradox.

Answer 1

STUCK WITH THE STOOGES

-OR-

IS THERE ANY INTELLIGENT LIFE IN HERE?

OPENINING SCENE: Moe, Larry and Curly are visiting a sick lady friend in the hospital. Each has brought her a present. Moe has three red roses, Larry has a bottle of cheap perfume and Curly has a box of chocolates. As they step into the elevator, a world-renowned brain surgeon who is on the way to an operation joins them. He presses the button for the 8th floor. As the elevator starts to rise, the stooges start to argue about which floor their lady friend is admitted to. They each punch a different button over and over again. Moe slaps the other two stooges and makes them stop. They turn to look at the doctor.

LARRY: Hey doc, where'ya off to?

DOCTOR: I have an urgent surgery to attend.

CURLY: Geez, I never would have known. You don't even look sick.

MOE: You Imbecile (smacks Curly) He isn't HAVING surgery, he's PERFORMIN' ONE!!

CURLY: Wow! Is that right, doc? Is the patient gonna die or somethin'?

DOCTOR: I sincerely doubt it. It's just a mild brain hemorrhage.

LARRY: Ohhh mammy... eggs and hammy! I wouldn't want nobody scramblin' MY brains!

CURLY: It's too late. Pardon me while I laugh. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

MOE: Both of ya's shut your pie holes! What's'a'matter with ya... 'are ya nuts?

The elevator suddenly grinds to a halt and the lights flicker off and on. Larry and Curly are panic stricken, while Moe tries to look unconcerned. Larry and Curly frantically start punching buttons again until Moe puts a hand on the sides of their heads and smacks them together.

MOE: Stop it, you dopes! How can the elevator know where to go when you're confusin' it?

LARRY: I don't think its confused. This elevator's just like a dame. If you boss it around, you just make it mad.

CURLY: Yeah. You know what they say: h**l hath no fury like a woman scorned.

LARRY: Where does it say that, Einstein?

CURLY: The Bible, Shakespeare, TV Guide... one of those.

MOE: Oh shut up, you morons! (turns to doctor) Whaddaya think we oughta do now, doc?

Overhead, there is an ominous CREAK and the elevator drops one foot.

CURLY (shreiking) I don't wanna die! I can't die! I haven't seen DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES yet!

MOE: (grabs Curly by the collar) Get over here, ya good for nothin' ... (looks at Larry) an' you too!

Larry starts to cross to the other side of the elevator, but it starts to shake. He jumps back against the opposite wall.

MOE: Hey! I said get over here!

Larry starts to take tiny baby steps.

MOE: What ya doin'?

LARRY: I don't want to over wiggle.

CURLY: Hey fellas, do ya think we'll get stuck in here for a long time? You know, they might not find us for days. We could shrink down to nothin' but skin and bone!

MOE: Hah! Even then, you'd be nothin' but skin and bones... with 7 layers of fat!

The elevator jerks and appears to start moving again.

DOCTOR: Gentlemen, you present a very strange paradox. Namely, you are humans who are an argument AGAINST intelligent life!

CURLY (to Larry) What did he say?

DOCTOR: My philosophy of life is "first, do no harm". However, for you , I would make an exception.

The elevator DINGS as they reach the 8th floor, and the door slides open.

LARRY: So, doc - I think my sacrilliac is outta whack. Can I call and make an appointment?

DOCTOR: NO! I don't think you should call ANY doctor. (looks thoughtful) Well, on second thought... perhaps you should call Dr. Kevorkian! (he gives them a withering stare and walks out).

END OF SCENE (and end of story. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!)