Re-post: What do you think of this poem and can you suggest a title?

Question

Watching me…devouring the light….utter chaos in her path

I feel her presence…I try to leave…but she grips me in her hands

“All the kingdoms of the world I give to thee if only you will take my hand.”

I must run…seek the light…my vision starts to blur.

Darkness encases my body and she sweetly coos my name.

“No matter what you do or where you go with me you will always stay.”

Do not listen…block her out…I run with all my might.

She screams my name as I shatter my darkness with my light.

Blooded hands and a broken mirror are all I have left to show.

Answer 1

Sirens sweet serenade,love the poem,great stuff.

Answer 2

Possible titles:

1. Light

  2. Darkness

  3. Chaos

I liked it. The struggle is

described well.

Take a look at my poem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhL6PcxeJ...

Answer 3

I think you portrayed a inner struggle that a lot of people have. Man verse him self is, I think, the worst struggle of them all. A broke mirror is all I have left to show... you saw a inner reflection of your self, the demon inside of you that threatened to take over. I give it 9 out of 10. A really good title would be

My worst enemy.

Shattered Mirrors reflection  

Answer 4

way too wordy - you need to edit this a LOT - it's a good  start.. it doesn't really flow very well,  I tried to edit this some, but your thoughts don't seem to connect very well.  

brainstorming is good, but then you put on your editor hat, and then you edit.  Then you brain storm again and you keep repeating until your poem works.

  

Answer 5

"The other side of me"

Answer 6

Wow! I like your deep poem. Title: (My) Darkness and Her.