Re:A FAMILY REUNION....Can you write an amusing tale that includes as many of these lines as possible?

Question

This is all for the pure fun of being creative, friends.

Do you know the common factor among these lines?

1. A plethora of personalities can be very enchanting.

2. We're in h**l. We've entered h**l! When?

3. I'd be more than surprised...... I'd be suicidal.

4. Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it.

5. Ok, I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time.

6. Give it up old man, you can't fight evolution.

7. YOU spend the winter in Wisconsin !

8. Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?

9. You've got serious thrill issues, dude...... Awwwwwesome.

10. It's a pitiful theory.

11. First you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you were like "whoa..."

12.I don't remember a time in my whole life when I haven't been close to complete personality disintegration!

Answer 1

Tom looked up at June as he finished loading a huge foil covered bowl of potato salad, a sealed gallon jar of tea and big pot of pinto beans with ham hocks.  "Do we have to go,?" he asked.  "Your family is a PLETHORA OF PERSONALITIES and CAN BE VERY ENCHANTING at times.  But most times they're enough to drive a man insane.  I DON'T REMEMBER A TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE WHEN I HAVEN'T BEEN CLOSE TO COMPLETE PERSONALITY DISINTEGRATION when I was around them.  I don't think some of them are totally evolved yet!"

"GIVE IT UP, OLD MAN," June laughed teasingly.  "YOU CAN'T FIGHT EVOLUTION.  My family crawled out of the sludge pot long ago along with your own," she added still laughing.

"IT'S A PITIFUL THEORY," he grumbled teasingly

.

"Oh, stop acting like you've been sentenced to h**l.  We only have one reunion a year.  It's not going to kill you," she frowned at him.

"h**l?,"  He looked up at her in mock shock.  "WE'RE IN h**l?  WE'VE ENTERED h**l?!  WHEN?!"

"I'D BE MORE THAN SURPRISED......I'D BE SUICIDAL if just once, you'd relax and enjoy yourself at one my family reunions," she returned becoming a little agitated.

"Wouldn't YOU rather SPEND THE WINTER IN WISCONSIN yourself,?!" he asked tongue in cheek.

"Why do you always act so insecure around my family,?" she asked.  "You drive me to desperation at times!"

"Your family makes me nervous.  Nervousness make me insecure," he laughed.  "WOULDN'T IT BE A GREAT WORLD IF INSECURITY AND DESPERATION MADE US MORE ATTRACTIVE?  We'd be the best dang looking couple this old earth ever saw!"

The reunion was in full swing when they arrived.  They made their way to the table where they placed their food contributions with the rest.  

A heavy set lady with greying hair rushed up and hugged June.  "It's such a shame that we only see each other at these reunions once a year," she gushed.

"I know.  I'm sorry, Aunt Beth," June returned.  "I hope you brought some more of that delicious bread you brought last year.  I tried to bake some and followed your recipe exactly but it didn't turn out as good and light as yours."

Aunt Beth laughed.  "It's all in how you knead the dough," she explained with a chuckle.  "REMEMBER, RIP IT, ROLL IT, AND PUNCH IT and let it rise several times before you form your loaves.

A teenager with wild spiked purple hair raced  up and grabbed June around the waist.  "Heyyyy, Auntie," she grinned holding her right hand up for a high five.  June gave her the high five in return.  "Like how ya' doing?"

"You kids today amaze me," June laughed eyeing the out-ragious hair-do.  "I didn't think you could top last year but I do belive you've done it."

"Yeah," the girl giggled.  "Last year with the neon green hair, FIRST YOU WERE ALL LIKE 'WHOA', AND WE WERE LIKE 'WHOA', AND YOU WERE LIKE 'WHOA...."

"Okay, We get the picture," June laughed.  She looked around for Tom but he had wandered off.

Meanwhile Tom was watching a group of teenage boys showing off for some girls by jumping off the over-hang cliff into the river below.  The girls were all cheering them on.  They clapped their hands and giggled each time one of the guys jumped.

One of the boys espied Tom and invited him to jump.  Tom politely declined.

"Looks a little too dangerous for my taste in thrill seeking," he smiled.  "I'll just stand by and try to save which ever of you mess up on a jump."

"YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS THRILL ISSUES, DUDE....but this is AWWWWWESOME,!" one of the boys returned.

Tom decided he had better leave the kids to their own amusement and wandered back toward the crowd of adults.  He saw June as she was helping set up the picnic tables and walked over to her.  He bent to whisper in her ear.  "OK, I'LL MEET YOU AT THE PLACE NEAR THE THING WHERE WE WENT THAT TIME last year for that little quickie," he teased nibbling her ear.  "You about ready for a repeat preformance?"

Answer 2

The Washington family had a reunion. That includes 2 elderly people, 2 middle-forty-aged son and daughter and 4 youths; one 18-year-old girl, two 14-year-old boys and one 7-year-old girl.

"A plethora of personalities can be very enchanting!" Lisa, the 18-year-old said to Gary, the other 14-year-old. "I'd be more than surprised.... I'd be suicidal." Gary answered in disgusting voice. "You've got a serious thrill issues, dude........Awwwwwesome!" Gerald, the other 14-year-old exclaimed.

Mrs. Washington, the elderly sat on the couch and said, "You spend winter in Winconsin!" Then Lisa began answering in a low tone, lower than a man's voice and soft for Mrs. Washington to hear but Gary heard it. "I don't remember a time in my whole life when I haven't been close to complete personality disintegration!" she said in a disgusting tone. "That's a pitiful theory." Gary answered in a low tone.

Mrs. Webers, the 43-year-old daughter of Mrs. Washington was talking on the phone. "Okay, I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time." She hanged the phone. Mrs. Webers left.

"We're in h**l. We've entered h**l! When?" he began complaining because of the vegetables on his plate. He had never eaten meat after his heart attack. "Give it up old man, you can't fight evolution!" Mrs. Washington said.

Alicia, the 7-year-old said in a loud voice, "Wouldn't it be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?" All of the family members nodded. Then, Lisa , Gary and Gerald and last, Gary again. "First, you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you wer like "whoa..." Lisa answered, "Remember: rip it, roll it, punch it." Alicia didn't understand.

This was the craziest family reunion the Washingtons and the Webers had.

:-)