Read my poem, my emotions on paper

Question

This sphere holds life and action

Upon which outsiders gaze

To them the blame fraction

Is as clear as night and day

To us it's a series of moments

individual perspectives

fifty fifty components

the other fifty neglected

Mistakes made and errors occur

Blame ensues, forgiveness too

Often regret for him and her

the whirlpools of doubt ensue

I am sorry, je suis desole

whatever language or cree

intangibles flow the same way

from you and into me

from me and into you

terms met, terms rejected

one and the other may never combine

crumble love once erected

memory exists of love that dies

may the circle fill rotation

may pieces again be whole

searched is loves illusive location

sometimes found a dark hole

lost is the cupid's arrow

realised are the thorns of a rose

can love be mended to what was so?

I never write poetry, but I just broke up with my gf of 3 years, this helped me to put some thoughts on paper.

Answer 1

It's always good to put your emotions onto paper, it helps deal with so much, tho at times it just makes the world more confusing for me. I am sad to hear your relationship of 3yrs broke up. I think your emotions in this poem are kinda jumbled, how I would feel in the same situation. You may get a bit of criticsm for this, so be careful about posting raw feelings for the world to see. But I like it, I identify with it. Good luck moving on. Right at this moment I am breaking up with my BF, or rather have been half the afternoon. Hopefully everything will go well in the future.

Answer 2

well done.

this is a great poem.

you should submit your piece to poetry.com, they are always holding contests for cash prizes.

it also makes your poem copy written, so no one can steal this.