Read my poem? Please?

Question

Cold Hard Rain:

Confusion clogs every pore

It cuts down to the bone

Wishing that I could be more

My thoughts a violent cyclone

Feeling as if I’m never enough

Looking down at hands of rough.

Razor blades and tiny slits

Defeat is what slowly admits

Hanging my head and watching tears fall

Dropping to my knees only to crawl

I’ll never know more

I’ll never know anything at all

Sitting in the middle of an empty street

On my knees weeping, no bittersweet

Only seeing pieces of myself fall down

An inch of rain in which I could drown

Hands pounds against the ground

I’m only hoping I won’t be found

Tears and rain run down my face

Black smears of my disgrace

I shiver with cold and utter alone

Looking into the black unknown

Lying down and holding this pain

Watching and feeling this cold hard rain.

Answer 1

Wow, that is very dark.Your words cut into my bones, especially the last stanza. Few lines s.a. line 3 (2nd stanza), are off the rhythm. Other than that its a very descriptive verse. You brought many vivid 3 dimensional dynamic pictures. You were successful in bringing colors to express feelings, even though you stressed black, to match the darkness of the main theme. Keep on writing. You have a good start.

Answer 2

this is so powerful it made me understand what you were writing, its so neat!! keep up thegreat writing!

Answer 3

AWESOME! better than mine!

& ta think, you were so insecure about yer writes!

Answer 4

(hands clapping) thats good

Twiztidforlife says thats a good poem, mine is soon to come, look for it.

Answer 5

Amazing poem!!

keep it up =]