Read my poem plz...?

Question

here it is:

when i look into your eyes

all i could see

was life

and it was just you and me

then they grow dark and you turn away

i cant understand what this means

one day you leave me

and i refuse to complain

i will live on storg

through all my hurt and pain

although i wish you would come back

i wont cry

because of you i make this easy

because i feel like im about to die

dont come back on your knees

dont show me your face

just go and live on your life

go to a different place

your no longer in my heart

so just wait and see

when i find my new life

which is filled of him and me

idk i dont its my greatest

Answer 1

Typical gooey romantic ruminations.  

Answer 2

i like it

Answer 3

Well, I personally prefer poetry when it rhymes, no offense. However I believe you could make some arrangements to improve this piece in particular. For example the second and third verses are not in concordance with the lenght of the rest of the verses. Moreover, you could try not using only monosyllables at the end of the verses.

Answer 4

This is a very beautiful piece.  The truth of your pain is raw.  Keep writing

Answer 5

i like it and i think the first stanzaa sounds like jonas bros song "wen u look me in the eyes"

Answer 6

love it. i see your pain. but i also see how much you want him but that you lost hope.

Answer 7

Thanks for reading mine, that sounded great to me personally, I would love to read more of your work.

  It seems that someone you loved hurt you, in the end you will be great =)