Read this poem, any constructive criticism is welcome?

Question

Sometimes all you want to do is cry

As you think of all of their fakeness,

All of their lies

Sometimes you just want to give in

Stop fighting,

Let them win

They say you are a freak

A loser

A geek

But when you see their nothingness

Their conformity; they are clones

You see that it is them that is worthless

"To thy ownself be true"

Because you are not them

And they are not you.

**It was inspired by Peyton Sawyer's drawing in One Tree Hill

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9375293@N07/2059468574/in/photostream/

Answer 1

VERY GOOD!

The only thing i didn't like was "fakeness" it just doesnt seem to fit in with the rest

Answer 2

run it under cold whater and then wrap it in cols wet tissue it works

Answer 3

I find it very touching. I had those feelings too and they are very nicely put into words. Excellent poem.

Answer 4

Wow thats amazing!!! But I think u need 2 change a loser to something deeper like a wanna be, cuz it sounds deeper & more like the poem. =)

So ya, haha other then that its amazing!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

it was true to the heart

very good i liked it alot

keep working on poetry cause your good at it

Answer 6

Reminds me of high school. . .

I also like the third stanza- the rhyme scheme fits well there.

(freak-geek)

Should "is" before worthless in fourth stanza be "are?"  (Because of "them.")

Last stanza is good-thought-provoking.

Answer 7

Nice poem...seems to come from the heart....not sure if you can use a cliche in a poem though..?

I like that painting though..good inspiration.

Answer 8

I dont like the word 'fakeness'. Is that even a word...? No, I just looked it up, and it is not a word. How about 'imataion' or 'acts'??

The rest of the poem was great. Reminds me of my middle school years. Keep writing, you have talent

Answer mine please

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Answer 9

gr8 job girl !!! n keep it up

Answer 10

Really nice, it reminded me of Christina' Aguillera's song Beautiful no matter what they say, keep writing very touching.. thanx for sharing it with us...

Answer 11

I liked your poem. I've written something like a couple years ago.

Answer 12

good job good job good job. Keep writing

Answer 13

OMGOMGOMG!!!

That is one of the best poems I have EVER read, did u write that? OMG that is sooo good!!!!! U shud get that published,  cannot tell u how much I luv that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Luck

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p.s that really reminds me of this book I red before called "Oh my goth" anyways....good luck!

Answer 14

Wow, that was a truly amazing poem, i got goose bumps. Good Job!

Answer 15

it is pretty good. i write poems and songs as well, so there a lot of things i could say but the only thing coming to my head is wow. ( in a good way) well if this is yours keep going, you have real talent if it is not yours well then tell the person who wrote it that i love it please and thankyou

Answer 16

I'm sorry.  I don't like it.  It doesn't read like poetry.  More like meandering thoughts.  Just ONE person's opinion.