Question:

Real 911 calls?

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Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one

Caller: Hi, is this the police!?

Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?

Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. Fire or emergency?

Caller: Fire, I guess.

Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?

Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?

Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and...well, do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?

Dispatcher: Help you what?

Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

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7 ANSWERS


  1. lol the last one is the best!


  2. Those were good! *star* for you!

  3. lmao ... this was hilarious...the first and last one were histerical....star for ya....

  4. LOL at the last one! xD

  5. I like the last one. HAHAHAHAHAHA

  6. LOL

  7. Silly Stuff!
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