Really bummed, First day back to work after maternity leave?

Question

I am just so sad. This is not natural for a mother to be seperated from her baby like this. I don't know how it will get easier with time like everyone says. Time is the problem here! The more TIME that passes the more TIME is stolen from me and my baby. Someone please say something that will help : (

Answer 1

I totally feel for you!  I am going back to work on Monday and I am dreading it!  My fiance is self employed and works about 12 days a month.  He is going to watch her on his days off and my mom will watch her on his work days. I make more money than him and I am a full time student.  That means lots of time away from my little one!  

It's great that she will get to spend so much time with her daddy.  I am going to be the one to know what it is like to be the typical "daddy" role while my fiance will take more of the typical "mommy" role.  I personally think it's great, but it is going to be tough on me.  They will be best buds!

WI MOM is a *itch.  That infuriated me to no end.  Please keep in mind that she probably just said that c**p to make you mad.  I can't believe anyone could be that apathetic and judgmental.  

Answer 2

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  I'm a SAHM, and I'm thinking about leaving my 11-week old with a babysitter once a week for a few hours.  The very thought of doing THAT makes me cringe!  So I can how being away from your child everyday would feel.  Cherish the times you do have together!

EDIT:  I have a suspicion that WI MOM is giving the thumbs-down!  Get a life!

Answer 3

I don't believe that a parent should have to sacrifice their own lives in order to fully love their child. I have a 4 month old, and after returning to work, I was in your shoes. I work 6 hours a day right now, soon to be full time. I cherish every minute with my son, as does his dad. I make sure that my mother (who watches him during the day) shares with me everything that happened. The time I do spend with him is magnified ten fold because it truly is quality time.

To keep me sane throughout the day, I take a picture of him just before I leave for work. I have that on my phone all day to look at. I even send it to my husband so he can see him all day. This will make you happy. I guarantee it.

Answer 4

Aww sorry to hear. How olds your little one? Just make the most of the time you do have together and know you are doing the best you can to help support your family and provide everything for your bub.

Answer 5

I know, I had to go back after three months. At the time when they were starting to become more active and fun. It sucks, but you got to do what you have to do. You still have evenings and weekends though. I've been back at for six months now and it is still hard to be away from them.  

Answer 6

You have options.

1.  Strictly budget everything and see if your income can be eliminated (assuming you have a husband who makes enough to do this).

2.  Watch a couple of kids at home for a reasonable fee, while you stay home with your child.  (Full time work at an outside job would probably be easier, though).

3.  Work part time when your husband is home and rebudget.

Good luck.  I went back to work part time at 6 months (full time at just before 2 but I didn't want to - did so for benefits).

Edit:  Wow, WI Mom, sometimes people have to work, like I did, for health benefits.  Would I have been a better parent if I continued letting a small child carry on without health insurance because my husband was self-employed and we made to much for Chip but not enough to buy our own coverage because of pre-existing conditions?  Don't use blanket statements.

Answer 7

It's completely natural to feel this overwhelmed after your first real separation from your baby but I PROMISE this will get better with time. I know it feels right now as though you've abandoned your baby but what IS natural is for your child to grow up as an individual. If you love your baby half as much as you make it sound like in your question then your baby will know throughout their childhood that you love them and will always be there for them. Sometimes it is better though to let them have some independence. That sounds funny when talking about an infant but it'll make the growing up process so much easier for the both of you since you'll both have your own identities.  

Answer 8

I am a working mom too and what I always try to remember is that the amount of time you spend with your baby is not as important as what you do when you have that time together!!  

Think quality not quantity.  

It helped me get through the very rough first weeks after going back!!

Answer 9

i started going back to school last week (college) for the first time in five years my one and only son is 6 months old and my mom watches him for me while i am at school i am also a stay at home mom my hubby just barely makes enough to get us by so we do not have the money to put him in any type of daycare and i am trying to get a better career so i can better provide for him and any future ones i would love to be able to work too but we only have one car so that's out and besides any money i do make would just pay for the daycare and besides my mom takes better care of him than any daycare would. i too think about him all the time at school i go in the evenings to make it easier for every one. i have 1 class monday and wednesday night and 3 on tuesday and thursday night. it hurts but i know that it is for the best in the long run that way i have a good job and than my hubby can go back to school so he can have a good one too. do not worry you are doing your best and do not let any one tell you differently. best of luck to you all  

Answer 10

I am a single mom too and I know how you feel. I didn't ask to be a single mom. I didn't tell him to leave. So WI MOM get being a coward and shut up!

It is hard to leave your baby. My mom is able to watch my kid and I found a job where I only work 32 hours. I feel better leaving the baby with my mom, is that a possibility? Don't mind the idiot on here, you do love your baby. You will still have a bond with her. YOu probably didn't picture yourself to be in this situation, I don't think anyone does. I wish you the best darlin.

P.S.  WI MOM I am sure you are not the greatest mom you think you are. Grow up and go pick on someone your own size. You are a loser.

Answer 11

I went back to work about 2 weeks after I had my baby girl, I know, way too soon, I felt the same way, but I had to make money, for her. I had to be able to help provide for her and pay bills at the same time.  I remember feeling like the worst mother in the world and felt like she needed me so much and I wasnt there for those 4-6 hours, because, you know, you get in a routine with the feedings, burping, bathing, changing, putting baby down to sleep, everyday and then you go back to work and you just know in your heart that YOU are the only one in the world that could ever take care of that baby with all the care and love and attention she deserves, and you just cry and worry from the second you set off to work again, I know, I did and I felt the same exact way.  So Im back at work, getting back in the habit, and I get this call.  Its my husband on the phone, and he's panicking! I can hear the baby in the background just crying and crying, I said Honey's what's wrong? Everything okay?  And he says, "I dont know what to do, she just keeps crying, I fed her, burped her, changed her, I dont know!?  I said, its okay, calm down.  I said put her in her stroller and stroller her around the house, and honey, turn on the vaccuum cleaner.  He said okay.  Gave me a call about 30 minutes later and said, "I thought you were crazy when you said vaccuum cleaner, but it worked!   Point is I realized for the first time, that while I wasnt able to be there with her, I had the mother instinct, and even though I couldnt be with her at that moment,  I came through and knew from that point on that no matter what, I'd be okay.  Being a mommy is a day-to-day gig.  You ARE going to be okay.  There's gonna come a day when going to work is no longer dreaded but longed for, for that breif, 8 hours of fit-free peace.  Good luck to you mommy.

Answer 12

If  you want to be with your baby, that is what you should do.  Just figure out some way to have some income where you can still be with your baby.  You could babysit a few children or get a job working at home (go to workingsolutions.com)  Just make it work. :-)  You might have to spend a little less on the groceries or something, but you can make it work. I stay at home with my little ones and I love it!!!  I sell things on ebay to bring extra income in...it's very simple... you should give it a try if you haven't already.  

Childcare is really expensive.... so a lot of times depending on what your income is, your just about breaking even.  

The way I look at it is, I don't want some strangers raising my child.  Children need their mothers.  YOU are VERY important in your childs life.  You need to be able to bond and watch you child grow up and teach him/her.  You'll miss out on SOOOO much if your not around.  

You know, think about it this way.... if you continue working, 5 years from now are you going to be happy with your decision to work or are you going to regret not staying home with your baby.   ...Now if you stay home with your baby, 5 years from now are you going to regret staying home with your baby?

What you are feeling is natural.  You need your little one and they need you.  Don't be sad just work things out.  :-)  Your little baby will love you know matter what.

  

Answer 13

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I know what you're going through (almost). I've spent 4 glorious months off with my baby so far and hope to go to at least six. My recommendation for you? Unless your job means the world to you, quit it for a night job or ask to be switched to nights. Have your mom, sister, hubby, someone you trust, stay with the baby at night. They won't have much to do for the baby, and hopefully if your baby isn't already sleeping through the night, she/he will soon. Your baby won't miss you while asleep. I understand your anxiety, but also your need to provide for your child. It's heartbreaking being away from a new baby, but hopefully your solution is right under your nose. Also, can anyone give you a loan to but some more time? Good luck to you. It's gonna be okay.