Really confused need some advice but please dont judge me by what i have done?

Question

hi there everyone,

Before i start please dont judge me by what i have done. Right here it goes i am 22 and have a boy friend and we have been in a relationship for the last 5 years we have 2 children together and i am happy. Only problem is i have been cheating on him with his cousin and have been for the last year and a half and we are falling for each other really badly. He has a girl friend and i have my boy friend i really dont know what to do. Please can i have some advice

Answer 1

I do feel for your dilemma!

I guess the best thing is to do some soul searching and figure out with which man you'd rather spend your life.  Although it sounds like you love both men for different reasons, it's not fair on them or you to keep this situation ongoing.

It's going to be a tough decision to make because of your feelings, but it's best to sort it sooner than later.

Talking to friends is one source of support but friends can be opinionated.  Perhaps talk to a counsellor to help support you through this journey?

Good luck and I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you!

Answer 2

Hmmm, I think you are in a very difficult situation I you leave your boy friend then your children life may be ruin. You have only one option go and tell every thing to your bf and take some good decision together I know it is very hard but you have to tell every thing.

Answer 3

Honestly, I would cease all communication with the cousin and make things work with the father for the sake of your children. I am younger than you and have a two year old, and what they need is two loving parents.

You might be falling for his cousin because you've been with your boyfriend for so long that things are boring. But you let that happen, it didn't just happen overnight. Spice things up and try to create the excitement again in your relationship!

So tell the cousin that it was really wrong what you guys did and to just forget it, because if your kids found out now or later in life they would probably think little of the love and loyalty you and their father and for one another.  

Answer 4

I think that some dumping needs to happen, you are  obviously not happy and in love with the father of your children, and the children will be hurt by a break up, but they will be more hurt to live with 2 parents who do not love each other.

But I must add if a guy or girl is unfaithful in 1 relationship particularly a serious one, they are likely to do it again.

I hope that you make the right choice with what you do in the future.

Answer 5

bite the bullet and come clean.your kids are there for life. you are only happy with your current lad because its what your used to.im not into cheating but its done for a reason not for grreed you only get one shot at life and youve got to be tota.lly honest with your slf.after the dust has settled can you really trust each other,cause the reason you r to gether is through deciet in the first place.

Answer 6

Sometimes love calls for sacrifice.   Did no-one ever tell you this?

You can`t have it all ways I`m afraid.    You say you are happy with your regular boy-friend, then why are you cheating on him, and betraying his trust?

Make an effort for God`s sake.  Leave the lust relationship.

Answer 7

Two separate issues here:-

Do you love your current boyfriend?  Are you usually happy with him?  If yes and yes then dump the cousin and work on your current relationship - its the best option for you and the kids.

If you dont love him and you are prepared to be alone and bring up the kids without him around then dump him.

Make these decisions first then the ones re the cousin will fall into place afterwards.  

Your first priority is to decide about your current relationship without factoring in the cousin - he may or may not pull through for you but that is irrelevant - you should make the decision you need for yourself and you should not stay in a relationship with someone you no longer love nor have any chance of loving again.  Not fair on him or you.

If you believe there is still a chance then you must dump the cousin and go for counselling and working out your current relationship.

Good luck with your choices.  I feel for you.

Answer 8

open your eyes he is just using you for animal pasion s*x i bet your maried to not just friends he is a lover and your husband is just that you have messed up your life best thing to do is try and fix it stop hurting other people and figure out what your going to do

Answer 9

For your own self worth you have to decide what you want.  Since family is involved it doesn't matter what you do this will impact the whole family.  Regardless of the hurt if you don't decide soon and do something about this then things will only get worse.

Answer 10

Stop and think......................what do you want for your 2 kids????

Answer 11

Dont judge you! Lady you need to catch a wake up! You cant have your cake and eat it. Drop the cousin. He isnt worth it if he is gonna cheat on his own cousin. I wish i was telling your bf to drop you. Protect your family. Rekindle your love with your man. Learn to say no!

Answer 12

this is bad all around you need to tell your baby daddy you no longer want to be with him and your side piece has to do the same with his girl and then tell him that your in love with his cousin its gonna hurt him but its better he hears it from you than anyone else

good luck

Answer 13

First of all you have to decide whom you really love. You can't harmonize contradictory pooooooooooooositions. Then take it or leave it. An important point in your relationship are your two innocent kids.

Answer 14

Well gal, yu need to make up your mind. Unless your bf knows and is okay with it then it is cheating. You might try to improve the s*x life that you have. try some tantric s*x and some taoist s*x since you seem to like to get horizontal and stuff. I think it is nothing but heartbreak waiting to happen all around. Tell him and ask if it is okay. My hubby would say yes in a second.lol

Answer 15

You either finish it with his cousin and hope your partner doesn't find out or be straight with your partner and leave him. It's hard but if you don't you will probably loose both.

Answer 16

wow thats really bad. you couldnt even tell your bf because its too late now because you have been cheating on with this guy for a year and a half. if you tell your boyfriend then he wont want to be with you anymore because you should of told him in the beginning. what if your boyfriend was doing that to you-think about that. im not trying to be mean but come on now. if this other guy really wanted a relationship with you then he would of left his girlfriend by now

Answer 17

break it off or come clean and do the best you can with the situation that develops from there.

Or just leave it in your conscience.

Which of the three unpleasant realities you choose is really down to you.

Good luck either way - I really admire your courage in discussing this!