Really confused what should i do?

Question

Im 16 (made a mistake on my year) and my girlfriend Kayleigh's 15, she was rapped a few months back, today she told me she didnt feel good and that she should go to the doctors, so i went with her and she found out she was 3 months pregnant. its really complicated because even though were so young, at the time we were trying for a baby. right now shes not sure if she got pregnant from me or from the rape. its really confusing, so when the babys born were going to see if its mine, the problem is shes so emotionally damaged right now that i dont know what i could do or say to make things better, i know i cant but i dont like seeing her depressed. i mean i love kay a lot soo much, and i dont think right now would be the best time to ask her to marry me.. age and all. what do you think?

Answer 1

Okay, you guys are way too young to handle this yourselves!  You need to talk to a responsible adult or two who can help you to make the best decisions for both of you.  It doesn't even have to be one of your parents, although that would be best, if you're at all close to any of them.

Honestly, there's not much you can do to make things better.  She was raped, and she needs counseling to help her deal with that and the fact that she may be carrying her rapist's child.  Counseling will also help her to decide what to do about the baby- test or not to test?  What will she want to do if it turns out to not be yours?  Raise it?  Give it up for adoption?  These are all things you guys need to start talking about now.

She also needs excellent prenatal care.  Aside from societal reasons, teenage girls biologically are not mature enough for pregnancy, a lot of the time- they have a much higher rate of having premature babies, for example, as well as children with birth defects (this can probably be traced to the fact that teenage girls are much less likely to get adequate prenatal care).  Find her an obstetrician, ASAP.

You guys are going to have a tough time in the months and years to come.  You cannot handle this yourselves.  Get help, please, from someone in your life.

Answer 2

You're young.. do you really have any business raising a child, yours or not? do you know the divorce rate for people married under the age of 20? how damaged would she be when she's going through a divorce at age 21 with a strangers child. it's a horrible thing to think of, and I know you think you love her sooo much but at your age you honestly don't have any idea.. sorry

Answer 3

I am sorry........but you guys are really young and this could go beyond her being depressed she could reall go into a deep depression I mean this is alot for you all to have to bare with...but I think you should be able to figure out who the dad is by caculating the dates....I also recomend you go to a therephists and if not that then a trusted adult.

Answer 4

She needs help and support. Talk to an adult, like her mother, and get her prenatal care and a therapist. She is probably feeling a lot of emotions right now. And I agree with the other person, the rapist should be reported. You both need adult help ASAP. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

Go to a trusted adult and ask for help.  You are way tooooo young to deal with a child especially under the circumstances.   How could you possibly afford to take care of it?  This child deserves to be well taken care of. I applaud you though for not automatically thinking of abortion--it's not the child's fault after all.

Get help--parents, teachers, pastor or somebody that can help you.  It would not be wrong or make either of you bad people if you chose to put the baby up for adoption.  Do what's best for the child!!!

Answer 6

If you truly love her, ask her! Age shouldn't matter if you love someone. That will show her that you are there for her and that you love her no matter what. Just be there for her when she needs someone. Let her cry on your shoulder a thousand times if that is what it takes. Let her talk as much as she wants to. And don't forget to tell her you love her. Good Luck and God Bless!