Really interested in adoption... domestic or international? Suggestions, tips?

Question

My husband and I have talked about this for awhile, and we'd really like to be a mommy and daddy to a baby who doesn't have any parents.

Other than the obvious "contact an adoption agency" what are your first suggestions to get started... any tips from experience?

Answer 1

First of all there is no baby out there that doesn't have parents. If your talking about the ones that parents don't want them then try foster care because the parents have so long to get there act together or the child will be put up for adoption these are the one's truly in need. Your adoption agencies are out there to make money and for couples that can afford to buy a child. No matter what if the child is kept in the dark about the child's natural parent then you have done a mis justices to your self and the child.

   If you still decied to adopt like I said go though foster care if your wanting a baby for your self try a agency they are wonderful in talking the mother's in to adoption and hidding the facts from the father's. Either way you will win.

Answer 2

One thing to consider is foster to adopt. There are thousands of children in the U.S. alone who are waiting for families to love them. These kids were removed from their homes for various reasons -- some have been abused, but not all of them. For example, my son was placed in foster care at birth because his first mother was unable to take care of him. My then-husband and I adopted him when he was 2-1/2 years old. The benefit of adopting through foster care is that you're giving a child who wouldn't otherwise have them, a home and family. Adopting through an agency often means that the first mothers were coerced into relinquishing their children as a "permanent solution to a temporary problem," such as lack of funds or support. Had these women been provided with some cash or an agency to help them deal with parenting, many of their babies wouldn't ever have been available for adoption in the first place. I didn't know all this when I adopted through foster care, but now I'm even more glad that that's the route we took! Spend some time on this board, ask questions and read others' questions and answers. Educate yourself about adoption loss and honestly think about the child(ren).

Answer 3

1.  REad Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wished their Parents Knew

2.  Ask yourself this question:  Are you willing to truly put aside your own needs to meet the needs of this child?  That means searching one day for biological family, if you are in an open adoption meeting with them throughout the year, dealing with the aftermath as they grow to understand what adoption truly means.  It also means correcting ignorant family members when they assume the nmom is a "crackhead" or other stereotype nmoms have gotten.

3.  If you have decided that this is for you, dig your heels in and prepare for a bit of a wait.  It can really get to you at times.

Good luck to you!  The fact that you are asking what to do tells me that you and your hubby will probably make great adoptive parents!

Answer 4

Research is really the first step if you're considering adoption.  Look at the different avenues carefully, their benefits and drawbacks, before deciding which option is best for you.  

Also, look into books from the perspective of adoptees, of "first mothers" and other adoptive parents.  Get as many different viewpoints as possible.  Research the adoption process, so that you understand how it works.

If you're considering international adoption, I recommend the book "How to Adopt Internationally."  It's the best general resource to explain the process of international adoption and it includes a good country by country outline of the different programs.  It's a great, general overview.  

Good luck!