Really need advice here??

Question

I can't get over when i lived at home. day and night my mum and dad wud make cruel remarks about my appearence.about cellilite,fat etc-i do modelling and am not ugly!! constanttly, they put me down, i couldn't even stay in the same room as them for a minute. about how i failed/wasn't smart enough/compared me to other girls...they never put any pressure on my little brother, as i was supposed to be cleverer. my dad would often lash out physically at me, when i avoided him and talking back to him, he wud niggle me, and create excuses to fight, even not let me have access to internet or my own car. i am soo insecure now/moved out and won't talk to them. i look at my brother and see how confiden and happy he is compared to me. what happened here. was it normal??

Answer 1

Thats not very nice of your parents to do that, but just know that whatever they said about you not being pretty or anything, is all lies and nobody's perfect

Answer 2

From what you have written above it sounds like you may have been exposed to a form of verbally abusive behavior.  When people say things to you that are very critical, judgmental, meant to put you down, etc. it can be very damaging to your self-esteem and self-confidence.  Many, many people go through experiences like this in their lives.  It is not good behavior on the part of your parents, but it is also not unusual for a young woman to experience these things (unfortunately).

The best thing you can do for yourself is to focus on building your self-esteem.  There are many resources on the internet and books available that will help you with building your self-esteem and confidence.  Many of these resources have specific exercises for you to perform, such as using positive affirmations (e.g., I am a capable person.  I am a beautiful person.)

I'm not sure how old you are now, but eventually you may come to realize that the best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive your parents or family for what happened in the past.  You may find that as you build up your self-esteem and self-confidence that you are able to sit down and talk to them in a reasonable fashion about how the things you mentioned above affected you. (Not in an accusatory way.)  You may find that they never even realized how much those things affected you.

Answer 3

No it's not normal. Something gone wrong with your parents, maybe their past or influenced by the people around them. Please if you ever have your own daughter one day don't ever treat her like this. I have two sons but I wish I had a daughter like you, I would have treated her like an angel. I could never scold or beat a girl, because they are born in this world to be loved. To me they are so soft, innocent and dependent. They bring so much joy in any family and man's life.

Answer 4

It's not normal. My parents don't treat me like that. Real loving and caring parents would not treat you that way. But if I were you, why don't you try asking them why are they always doing that to you.

Or better leave your house and live alone, be independent. I guess you're not that young anymore to be still living with your parents.

Answer 5

It is not normal to treat your child that way. Probably your dad was treated that way when he was a child or he does not know how to treat a girl.  I am sure if he hits you and treats you badly he must do the same thing to you mum.  I am sorry that you have to go through this. Good luck in your career.  

Answer 6

In my opinion, no it was not normal.  It could have been favoritism, or anything along that kind of thing. im sorry it happened and i suggest you go talk to a counselor. a person who could help with this giant problem. i hope you find the answer you look for. good luck.

Ashleigh

Answer 7

NO It isn't normal for parents to choose one child over the other and to treat you like dirt. They are your parents, but for your own peace of mind and dignity, avoid them. Even if you have to cut them out of your life at least you can move on make new friends and have the self confidence they tried to steal from you. As for the brother he can't help how these parents acted either. Your parents have the problem.