Really need advice somone please help?

Question

My longtime girlfriend and I had a ruff break up about a month ago. We dated for a long time and were at one time very much in love. We both 25 and took the relationship seriously. I truely believed that this was the women I was going to spend the rest of my life with, even now its hard to believe that shes not. At one time she told me that it was what she wanted. Anyways out of no were she ended it expressing her need to soul search and be alone for a while. No matter the reason it still hurt just as much. Now a month later she calls and texts expressing her desire to see me for lunch and open up possibilities of a friendship. She explained that we both went through a lot together and that cutting me out of her life completely is not at all what she wants. As much as ive made peace with the break up i still dont like it. I want her in my life but not the same way she doesn, and I cant watch her move on from me to someone else. can anyon give me some advice

Answer 1

If you aren't ready or willing to be "friends" yet, you can't force yourself... what is more, you shouldn't because it will play out badly in the end.  Some exes can be friends right off the bat, some can later in life and some never.  Tell her that you aren't ready.  Simple as that.

Answer 2

Based on the little bit of objective information you have presented, I'd say that she wants to be just friends with you.  But it seems that that would not really be enough for you.  SO you need to move on and find yourself the woman you need, and let her find other friends.

Answer 3

Notice that your ex's "soul-searching" was all about what SHE wants. She didn't seem to care much about what you want. You'd be at a huge disadvantage if you accept her "offer". And yes, you will have to hear about all her new romances. Why would you expose yourself to that? Tell her to stop calling and texting unless she wants to get back together as a couple. Otherwise, please leave you in peace to move on with your life.