Really shy college student who needs help?

Question

I am 20 and dont have many people that I would call friends. I have been anti-social for essentially the last six years or so. I dont drink, I dont smoke, I dont do drugs out of fear that others will think i look pathetic and naive.

I need to go out and do social things, but how does one do that with no friends?

when I say I havent done anything that friends would do socially in years, im serious, I literally havent done social events IN YEARS

sadly, next year will be my SENIOR year in college! so this is almost my last chance to make friends and meet girls easily.

this past year, i really did make alot of effort to be more social, but with limited success. i joined groups that tutored high schoolers, volunteer groups, sports clubs, and ethnic clubs (i'm asian) - but i didnt like any of them. i felt that i didnt relate to anyone there since i'm so far behind in social skills and am so shy.

i've wasted my college experience by focusing WAY too much on studying

what can i possibly do to get a social life and attract girls?! are there any clubs in particular that will help? perhaps the ethnic clubs will work since it'll be easier for me to "click" with those of the same ethnicity? or do i need to find a new hobby?

Answer 1

You've certainly given it a solid effort with the clubs and groups you tried.  Don't view your senior year in college as the FINAL chance to meet a girl, or make friends.  It's actually only wrapping up a phase in life, not an ending.  The next phase will involve new people and opportunities.  Why would you even say you've wasted your college experience??  There is no standard for how people "should" spend their college years.  You've gotten a college education, and there is absolutely no waste in that.  After all, isn't that why you WENT to college??  Discipline and good grades are very important, but you won't realize that just yet.  Once you get out in the world, you'll be exposed to far more things than your college roomies and the girls in your classes.  It just doesn't seem like it now.  The world is SOOOOO much bigger than your dorm room walls.  When you begin to work in your field, you'll gain confidence and that will help you flower socially.   Don't be so hard on yourself.  I don't have much interest in social activities and I'm completely content at the ripe age of 40.  Hang in there buddy.  Things will fall into place.  Just don't rush it, your life is just beginning!!!  ENJOY!!  

Answer 2

First find some friends, guy friends. try to talk to them in uni, then they may introduce u to girls or u can do it urself as u said its ur last chance u have to be confident.

Answer 3

how can u say u "wasted" ur college experience by studying?U got the rest of ur life to meet people.u buckled down and got ur schooling done on time man.that counts for a lot more than partying it up every night.All you gotta do is talk to people man.and when u start to get to know em well, invite em to stuff u think will be fun.if ur into music, see concerts.or go camping with ppl, find musical festivals.stuff like that is a lot of fun.

Answer 4

yea join ethnic clubs

Answer 5

perhaps the ethnic clubs will work since it'll be easier for me to "click" with those of the same ethnicity?

If you are anti social you will still be with them.

But it would be worth a try.

Answer 6

Try to find clubs with activities that you enjoy even without people being there, once you find other people who enjoy the same things as you, it will be easier to create a true connection with them based on your interests. You would already have something in common!

Answer 7

you are the first person I have ever say "I've wasted my college experience."

No you prepared yourself to get a kick a$$ job. Go get that job and meet a girl with the same interests as you IN that job!  

Answer 8

relax and stop being so hard on yourself, and try the following:

dress comfortably for a walk. leave your books, phone, laptop, etc., at your residence. start walking around campus and smile at and say hello to anyone who comes within 20 feet of you. do it for an hour everyday, i guarantee you will gain confidence, have fun, and probably make some friends too. it cant hurt to try it, nothing else has worked correct? good luck and have fun!!!

Answer 9

Just keep lookin. You'll find something if you try finding it.

Answer 10

i know its a little immature but you should just go up to anyone who you find interesting and just say hey I'm kevin or steve lol whatever your name is. I'm also a little anti social. i don't like meeting new people but sometimes it just happens. make friends with people you work with or do something drastic that will make everyone notice you. try to become more outgoing. i know it can be really hard to turn into an outgoing person after being very quiet and shy.just do something you never thought you would do.

hope this helped (;