Realtionship question...?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been together for two and a half years now. When toward the end we started falling apart. She broke up with me three weeks ago and I've been an emotional wreck ever since. I've done what I know I shouldn't have which is call, cry, beg, etc. She still calls me everyday and tells me she loves me. Well last night I got to reading some of these, "how to get your ex back" blogs and for the most part they all said, "dont' call, beg, cry, or be guiltfull." So last night she said she was comming over. When she got there (even though it killed me) I was very normal. I didn't say anything about the relationship. She attempted to hug me and kiss me to which I reluctantly did back but not like usual. You know kind of a half-assed hug and kiss. She kept staring at me like she was hurting but, I stood my ground and remained completely calm. When I walked her to her car I stood at her door and waited for her to buckle in and then I was just gonna close the door and say bye, but she just kept staring at me and eventually said, "are you gonna stand way over there?" So I came in close , hugged her, and she tried to kiss me but, I kinda let her kiss my cheek. On her way home she kept saying things like, "I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable", and stuff like that. I just basically told her that she asked for space and I was merely doing what she asked. I will say this, it killed me to be that way but I didnt give in. AM I doing the right thing? She has called me a few times this morning but I've kept it at "small talk" . All I know is I want her back, I haven't called her. I let her call me. Is there anything else I should do? Since the brak-up I've lost alot of weight because of being heartbroken and she keeps telling me how good I look and how amazing I am. I just don't get it. HELP, HELP, HELP!

Answer 1

Keep going the path you are going, it hurts i know but she was probably seeing if she was still valued in her beauty as she was when you two started dating. You personally need to go hang with the guys and let her come to you, i am sure she wants you back, that is how it is sounding but she needs to say it to you. You are her safety net as well as she is yours. Being in a relationship that long means something in every-ones heart and it might be that she broke up with you to get you to change something that was going on during the relationship. I did it to my husband, I left him and took our children about 2 years ago because he was disconnected and lacked emotions. After i left him alone for 3 months we finally got back together because i saw a change that needed to happen in him. But for you for now, just go out and spend time with your friends and avoid talking every day or seeing each other every day until she states she wants you back.

Answer 2

I know it hurts like h**l right now but you need to take control of this situation.  Right now, she's trying to have her cake & eat it too.  If she TRULY loved you, she wouldn't be sending you mixed signals like this when she KNOWS how much you are hurting.  Does that really sound like a woman in love?  No.  To me, it sounds like a woman who does care for you but is SELFISH and is putting her own needs ahead of yours.  Instead of focusing so much on wanting her back, you need to take this time to just really analyze & think about your r'ship.  When you break up, it's natural to only ever remember the positive things.  You worry that you may never find someone who is as good so people end up SETTLING for the comfortable instead.  But all that does is a huge diservice for both people.  You need to look at her in an honest, realistic light.  You need to ask yourself if this r'ship really was that great.  If, at the end of all this, you still think she's great & the r'ship was worth saving, then by all means let her know.  For now, all these mixed signals and game playing isn't healthy & is just immature.  She's tearing you up & it shouldn't be this way.  You can't break up with someone and then expect it's ok to call them, say "i love you", see them or expect everything to be the same - she's being selfish.  If I were you, I'd call her one last time and say "I love you but I can't do this.  I can't be in this limbo where you get to break up with me and then continue to say I love you or expect me to just kiss you like everything is normal.  It's not fair to me.  So, for both our sakes, it's time that we ACT broken up.  You can't ask me to act like everything's ok.  Please don't call, don't email, don't text, or come by.  I need time to myself to figure things out and afterall...that's what you asked for in the first place.  I will always care about you but if this is what you want, it's time we both moved on."

Answer 3

sometimes if you make someone feel they had you all along, right from the start, they cant help but wonder what else could they get. Kind of like if you achieve some goal with no challenge at all, you naturally wonder,  i bet i could do even more, if i tried.  On the other hand, she may just be stringing you along, and double checking that she has you around her finger for a plan b of sorts. stay confident, tell her she knows your awesome, and you cant blame her...lol

Answer 4

Losing weight may not be a bad thing...might get you back in shape for the next babe. She's playing you and trying to control the relationship. Step on your heart. The next thing she's gonna do is have other friends that are male. Grow a pair and ignore her. You should start thinking about building yourself up...Go to the gym, take some martial art classes and build up your ego and self estime...'cause she poosy whipped you bud...Take care

Answer 5

You're doing the right thing. The same thing happened to me. My boyfriend one day just said "things feel... different. Same **** different day."  He told me he needed time. After a few weeks of us acting like nothing had changed, I asked him what "needing time" meant. We eventually just stopped talking. I did not want to guilt him into being with me even though I was truly in love with him. If she wants you back, she'll make the effort. She knows how you feel, now it's up to her.

Answer 6

You're doing exactly the right thing. I've been in both yours and her position. Both suck... but yours is by far worse. She wants you back, you can tell... And by you acting like you don't care what she does, she'll want you back quicker and even more. It is the hardest thing EVER to do... because it feels like you are doing exactly the wrong thing. You're not. Good job! That takes a lot to do!

I am still kinda in the same situation... please read up my blog on "space" and other of those issues...

http://whateverheidi.blogspot.com/

Answer 7

LET HER GO! I know it hurts but when your done with a relationship its over! It takes time to get over but its going to continue to hurt when talking to her. space is not what she needed something happened for her to do that! what are you going to go back with her and 2 1/2 years later she will do the same thing what if your married by then. spare your heart from ache!