Reason to be jealous or how to get over jealousy?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been off and on for a couple years. Once when we broke up, my "best friend" wanted to sleep with him... needless to say, she wasn't my best friend much longer. They didn't sleep together and we got back together pretty soon after. Him and her have hardly talked at all since then (almost 2 years ago now). Then ANOTHER friend of mine watned a 3-way and I said I wasn't interested... so she ASKED my boyfriend. I was incredibly offended and I stopped hanging out with her. She kept hanging out with my boyfriend though... Then when we broke up she was comforting him and not me. I was angry.

So tonight he was invited out by the 1st girl to play pool. Should I be jealous? Not to mention he's still friends with the 2nd girl. He has said several times that he's not attracted to either of them and I kinda believe him about girl #1 but not #2. He knows I don't like him hanging out with the 2nd girl but he still does. Not a lot but enough to annoy me. And it's generally when I'm working or busy so I couldn't join if I wanted to...

Plus he hangs out with a girl he dated during our latest breakup (we were apart about 6 months but still kept in contact and hung out a lot). He claims that's also as friends only. Most of his friends are girls... it's really frustrating.

He always says I'm the only one he wants but I really have a jealousy issue and I don't know how to get over it and just accept the fact that I'm going to have to deal with it "forever". I honestly trust him. I know he's not sleeping around but I know these girls can be flirty too. Even if he doesn't mean to, they flirt... It's annoying!

Answer 1

The more you think you have a problem with jealousy, the more it will be hard to get done with it.  It really is all in the mind.  If you self talk that you can and will get better the more you conciously will.  I too had a problem with jealousy and grudges.  But my counsler told me it is all in your head.  You need to rethink how you think.  I now am better because I think I am better and soon you can too.  Good luck.  Never give up though we all need to practice before we get better.

Answer 2

Gee, I can see why you two are on-again off-again.  You have this huge, unresolved sets of issues. I don't see you resolving this, and I don't see much that is healthy in your relationship.  Good relationships make you feel better, make you feel uplifted, not constantly jealous and annoyed.  You are not right for each other, that is clear.  

Answer 3

firstly,wenever u have a boyfren, never ever introduce him to your girlfrens especially your bestfren...coz either she backstab you or your bf will start a liking for her ... we have to be selfish wen it cums to relationship...though you trust him,we can't say wat will happen once guys get seduced by this girls...  of course you will get jealous coz jealousy means you love him but over jealousy means you want to own him not to love him...so have a talk with him since you are not quite happy him having many girl frens... if it still bother you just move on and forget him k... maybe theres guys out there who interested in you  but just that you know ... good luck gal..!!