Reasonable ways of letting out anger?

Question

You would never guess it from being around me in person, but I am furiously angry almost all the time. Every little thing makes me mad, as well as major things that keep me perpetually upset. It just seems like there are enraging things all around me constantly. Do other people feel this way? But more importantly- how can I deal with my anger and get it out? Someone told me that I have so much anger because I never let it out. But what am I supposed to do? It’s not like I’m just going to start yelling at people like a jerk; or breaking things; or beating people up. So what exactly is there that I can do?

Answer 1

Yupppp I used to be like that lol and just like you people couldn't tell... playing sports and working out more did help but not enough but I found some tips online... they may not work 100% of the time but they calm me down MOST OF THE TIME which is good enough for me because really i get mad over small things which are meaningless an hour later lol try them

TIPS:

Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

Hope that helps =)  

Answer 2

i feel the same way, excercise helps a little. im going to star ya.  

Answer 3

Anger is a secondary emotion.  There is always another emotion that precedes it.  To control or alleviate your anger, determine what emotion is driving it first.  If its frustration, for example, then it means a goal or need is not being met.  How can you meet the need or do you have any real control in getting it met in the first place?  If its sadness, then determine what your loss has been and grieve appropriately etc.

All the suggestions are good but there's no magic bullet.  The key is to find what's behind the anger and gain some problem solving skills to deal with the real problem.

Good luck

Answer 4

Well,I'm not angry "all" the time but there are daily things in life that p**s me off.I'm not a violent person,I wouldn't ever beat or hit someone but when I get upset or angry,I jump on the treadmill,crank up some metal music and run ,run,run.I find that running on the treadmill until I am just too tired to run anymore,seems to help me deal with stress and anger better.I've always used music as a way of dealing with problems as well.Lifting weights also helps.I imagine I am lifting away my problems.Try jogging or something like that.Even going to a batting cage and hitting a ball around helps let out stress..Plus you won't go to prison for beating up a baseball or a dumbell...good luck.

Answer 5

I'm sort of the same way.....just work out....punch on a punching bag, lift weights, run, or something. If you have to count to 10 take a deep breath let it out and walk away. I sometimes have to count to 100. Running helps me when I get upset, It gives me time to think about what I'm angry over. Try to see if that helps you any. If not then I don't really know what to tell you.You may have to talk to an anger management counselor....hope that I helped.

Answer 6

i get angry too, i hurt my self sometimes, calms me down, makes me feel defeated aswell....  a more productive thing is to try work outs... when you are full or rage you can do exercises much better, because you are determined, angry.... and when you finish you feel proud : )... and calm...  

Answer 7

"No one can make you angry without your active participation."

Think about this. You have to LET someone or something get to you to make you angry. So your first step is to figure out WHY you get angry.

Let's take road rage as an example. Someone pulls out in front of you, or cuts you off in traffic. It makes you mad. Why?

Put yourself in their head. Just like you, they may be in a hurry to go somewhere, or just don't know any better, or maybe they ARE being an idiot. But you can bet one thing: they're not the one who's suffering. YOU are.

Because you LET it get to you, you maybe take it as a personal offense. See where this is going?

The first stop is to figure out why some things bother you. make a list of everything that ticked you off today. Go down that list and ask why each one made you angry. Then make a rule for yourself: next time this happens, I'm going to understand that it's nothing worth getting p***ed about.

Anger acts like a snowball too. You get a little bit angry at one thing, then the next thing that happens that you wouldn't ordinarily get angry over DOES anger you more. So if you eliminate all the things that aren't worth getting angry over, you can figure out how to cope with the more important ones.

And whoever told you "letting it out" helps is DEAD WRONG. Do you know why?

Whatever made you angry will STILL be there after you "let it out." It's a lose lose situation. Second, you will begin to distance yourself from those you love, and this is the biggest loss of all. Nothing you'd get angry over is worth this.

And you don't need THERAPY or medication to control your anger. You just need to understand yourself.

Answer 8

A lot of people exercise to burn off anger. Some people paint or write. It's different for everyone. You should just try doing something you really like. And exercise is one of the most effective ways to cool down because it lets you burn it off