Recent break up - How to get over her?

Question

My girlfriend of 6 years just broke up with me yesterday and my heart is completely broken. I honestly thought that she was the one and that I would marry her. She left me with the fact that we have grown apart and she has lost her feelings for me.

Now, I'm asking you if you have any suggestions on how to get over her ASAP. As of right now, I feel crushed. Like there is just a huge hole in my chest. I can't stop thinking about her since almost everything I see, hear, or do reminds me of her.

I know how most people suggest staying busy like socializing with friends or finding a hobby, but even then she comes to mind and I can't enjoy myself. Music, TV, Food, my house...I can't escape this!

When I'm with my friends I'd just rather be with her. New, future girls I will just second rate and try to compare them to the girl I thought was the one.

She was my motivation for a lot of things like staying physically fit, active, getting good grades in college, and getting out more. But now, I find myself not caring anymore. My drive to be successful left with her. She made me alive.

I know that I shouldn't let this have this big of an impact on me, but currently, it does. I've never been through this kind of pain and I don't know what to expect from here on out.

Answer 1

NEVER contact her again or have anything to with her in any way at all. Eventually you will finish grieving her and put her in the past. In the meantime do whatever it takes- cry, shout, write...  

Answer 2

My boyfriend of 5 years just broke up with me...something of similar issues, but also because i am going away to college. And this happened almost a month ago.

My only advice is my own experience so here is what happened to me....

First week

I lost ten pounds in one week because i just wasn't hungry. It was as simple as that, i didn't have the motivation to eat, nor the appetite. It was really bad. I didn't want to do anything, because i used to do everything with him. We were together when ever we could be. I couldn't sleep...i was lost.

Second week:

I was lucky and had a trip to san diego already planned with some friends. So i got to get away and have some fun...and somehow that trip kick started me into thinking about my life.

I loved my boyfriend so much...i loved everything about him.

And eventually i realized i will always love him...no matter what...but my love for him will dwindle...it will become less intense and less painful, but my love will still be there.

I also realized that i just want to be happy and i want him to be happy.

Third Week:

Ups and downs during this week....one day i hated his guts and just wanted to strangle him for breaking it off...another day i was indifferent to anything that went on around me....and just my emotions went from happy, to anger, to sad, to what the h**l?

This week:

I think i am finally getting over the hard parts. And i am content and still want my ex to be happy, and if that meant it wasn't with me, then i guess so be it. But i deserve to be happy to...so i will be happy.

So my advice...don't contact her. I didn't contact my boyfriend and i am glad i still haven't because it would have made getting over him that much harder...it would have simply stirred up all my feelings for him again. I still don't plan on talking or seeing him anytime soon...because i know i can't handle it.

1. Be real with yourself...feel your emotions as they come...supressing them is only going to hurt you more

2. If you feel like doing nothing...(don't be in this stage for more than a week, it will only depress you even more)...make yourself get up and do something. Eventually the more you go do something the more you are going to want to do....because it is true that occupying yourself helps you to stop thinking about them. But do something you never did together.

3. Keep physical, go for a run, go for a hike, set a goal and achieve it. You will feel good about yourself.

right now it will seem as if she will be the only girl in your life and it might take you 6 months to get over her...if it takes you more and you are still feeling depressed...then i say seek professional health.

Hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

I can't imagine how much pain you're in. I'm sorry your girlfriend did this to you. I don't think it will be possible to get over her ASAP. You spent 6 years of your life with this girl. Please realize that if it was meant to be, you would still be together. I know you probably don't want to believe that, but it's true. There is someone out there that would never even think to do this to you. Time will heal the heart. You don't need a girl to be a motivation. Be your own motivation, and start doing things for yourself. Keep doing that, and before you know it you'll be in love with someone so much better.

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does."

Answer 4

She's just a woman. You make it sound like you totalled a hemicuda. There was only like 800 of them made but there are like 3 billion women dude.

Answer 5

i was in your position a few years ago, and I know exactly what you are feeling right now. I wish there was a easy way out but I never found one. It just takes time, yes there will be pain, yes it will be hard, but you just need to understand that life will move on.

It may not seem that easy right now, but in time things will get better. You must try to not let it control your entire life right now. I had written a poem after me and her broke up, I hope it helps you...

"Good-Byes"

"We never thought this day would come,

But it's finally here at last,

What once was our bright future,

Is now are dim-lit past,

But we hold onto the memories,

The lessons that we learned,

The pathways we have traveled down,

The corners that we have turned,

And soon we say our sad goodbyes,

That will last us forever,

We may see each other again,

Maybe once or maybe never,

So make your goodbyes ones to remember,

The kind that will stay in their heads,

Those are the goodbyes they will treasure,

The ones that were sad to be said." -Theo Ruhm

Answer 6

there is no way to get over a relationship of 6 years fast, its always gonna be hard and take awhile, and the only person that can help you get over her the fastest you can is you!, I dunno maybe cry? that is usually what I do unless I dident like theme.... so yea just dont try to ignore it because it will come back and hurt more something like this takes awhile to get over.

Answer 7

Jusst let it go- the times were great appreciate them and now move on otherwise u will always be depressed. Oh and ur drive is still there, she had nothing to do with it, and u are still alive..

Answer 8

i feel the same way.

my gf just broke up with me

and i havnt been hungry or anything.

i tried to eat but that didnt work out too well.

haha

Answer 9

omg i feel so sad for you. She must of been a bi*ch to leave you, you seem like you really loved her. But god works in mysterious ways and that means there is another person out there for you and she will be just as special or more. As of right now still focus on school becuase i know its hard but that's whats important. Just dont let yourself be alone because you'll find yourself dialing her number over and over and she won't answer it will just make you go insane. Its goin to take time just try to have a good time in college flirt with a couple of girls here n there, that should show you hey im still here breathing and im not gonna let this bi*ch ruin my life just cause her a*s dont know what she wants. Just get back out there. the club n dating scene aint so bad. You'll have a chance to experiance life in a whole new light now that your free....

Answer 10

6 years ?

Wow.

Watch a movie.

Eat some food, haha.

It always helps me. : ]

Good luck.

Answer 11

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