Records and privacy?

Question

why does the adoptees feel they have a right to see their records

bio parents should be allowed to make a choice to have contact later in life

not because some record was opened up and info was given

why can't adoptees get that

some ppl just prefer to move on in life and not be haunted 18 yrs later only because an adoptee needed answers

your answer is you were adopted and THAT"S YOUR FAMILY

right or wrong????

Asked in another form

I feel this is why there is the option for open or closed adoption

DO you feel the bm rights should be violated for the sake of opening records for an adoptee?

Answer 1

You're so cute Sarah.  Going out in drag I see.

Adorable.

My firstmom loves me.  She gave me a pretty pink cashmere sweater for Christmas.  She came to see me on my birthday and we went to a spa for massages.  Her treat.  It was the first birthday we had spent together since that fateful day so long ago.  She calls me on the phone and tells me she loves me.  And I tell her I love her too.  And we visit each other and we laugh together and we watch movies together and we fight and we eat ice cream together.  And we are both very, very fabulous.

And I am so glad that I found her.

I have two mothers and they both love me very, very much.

I'm lucky.

ETA: I forgot to give you your citation...I'm feeling generous tonight so I'm letting you off with a warning because it sounds like you are hurting.  And here is a bit of advice: My amom always says, "You know, you don't have to blow my candle out to make yours shine brighter."  Think about it.

Answer 2

i think you are wrong..im glad you had a great life..but what about the kid that got adopted because their parents died...their birth parents didnt give them up...should they not be allowed to know who they are..you know i may be alot of things but im not a complete moron i didnt need to be told i was adopted i knew..i knew i didnt fit in..i knew my supposed adopted parents didnt even like me...i knew..i knew every night i cried myself to sleep because i wanted my mom to find me or because i got the c**p BEAT out of me...i have the right to know...my kids have the right to know...the people who dont have the right are the adopted parents...its none of their business...and you know you cant hide your mistakes forever..and birth parents should know they have to deal with that as welll...

Answer 3

Adoptees Have The Right To No Who There Real Family Is Granted IM Not Adopted But I Want To Adopted When I Want To Have Children But Yes They Do Have The Right To Find There Real Parents I No If I Was Adopted I Would Want To Talk To My Real Parents Find Out MY REAL Background And Also Take That In And Also Have My Adopted BackGround At The Same Time This Is Just soo Rude!! Dude Get A Life I Have A Lot Of Friends That Are Adopted And They All Found There Real Parents And Still Love There Adopted Family The Same!!! A$$HOLE

Answer 4

Wrong.  Maybe women (do they even exist?) who think they have some imaginary "right" to drop off an infant like it was a t**d and never have to think about it again should have had abortions, not children.

Born people have citizenship rights whether they were adopted or not.  Born people NEED (you said it yourself) answers.  I have a right to see my records because I exist.

I would also never in a million years dream of calling the woman who gave me life by the same acronym most people use for (I'll say it again) a t**d ("bm").  It's obvious that you don't think I or my mother deserve human status.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Answer 5

I find it very amusing that you come on here and start telling people not to badger others, when this question is clearly an attack on adoptees.  

To your question, though, first parents have no right to anonymity.  As has been rehashed many times in this very site, the adoptee's records do not seal until after an adoption; they don't seal at relinquishment.  Further, open records and reunion are different questions.  Simply having access to records is not the same thing as making contact.  Every other citizen has a right to their documents, why should adoptees be treated differently?  

As for your question "THAT'S YOUR FAMILY right or wrong????"

Right and wrong.  That is one of my families.  I have several.  I have my adoptive family.  I have my first family.  And I have my in-laws.  And they are ALL my family.

ETA:  Oh, are we doing the gift thing?  My first mom knitted me a scarf, using the color of my birthstone.  One of the first presents she has ever been able to give me.  I have treasured it since.  And, according to her, me finding her and coming back into her life has made her happier than she has been in a long time, and she feels more at peace than she has since she relinquished me.  I think she would object to your phrases "move on" and "haunted," but I suspect you don't want to hear that.

Answer 6

This is nothing but pot stirring ladies and gentlemen.

This is a troll aka internet stalker.

Now you've changed your name, from sosad, to mindofmyown and you think you're fooling anyone? Sarah if you're upset because I haven't found anything on your family yet, I'm sorry, lets talk about it instead of lash out. I'm not a miracle searcher, I can't find people overnight. I have tried, but this isn't a way to get me to try harder, personally I don't think I'll "try again" now.

One citation for trolling ( check )

One citation for lying (check )

One citation for pot stirring ( check )

One citation for just being rude ( check )

Answer 7

As a natural mother....I HAVE NO RIGHT to privacy from my child when and if she searches for me.  Here is a basic concept that might go over your head:  If a person does not want to be contacted, they can tell their child that AFTER they fork over family info.

Why do you think we deserve privacy?  We have no right to it.  There is no actual law that states natural parents have a right to privacy from their child.  You give birth to a child, sorry, you lost that right to "move on" and "forget".

Wow, two thumbs down?  Got your buddies in force tonight, eh?

Wow, 3 more!!!!  Woo hoo, I'm on a roll.  Bring it on, troll!

Answer 8

Maybe when you graduate from high school you will understand that no parent has a right to be anonymous from their child. How silly.

If births were meant to be private and secret affairs, then no birth certificates would be issued for anyone.

Answer 9

I sincerely hope you are not thinking of adopting a child. They are human beings. They have rights. My children need to know who and where they came from. I would not be a loving mother if I denied them access to their own legal documents and history.

Answer 10

Why do I believe I have a right to MY OWN state held birth record just like non-adopted people?

It's not about a right to reunion, Sosad.  No one has that.  

However, EVERYONE except adopted persons has a right to his own birth record.  

***Even people given up for adoption who didn't happen to get adopted (or stay adopted if they were) have that right, because THEIR records aren't sealed.***

The type of adoption -- open or closed -- only has to do with whether or not there will be allowable contact during childhood.  Open adoption is a relatively new concept created by agencies in an effort to get mothers to agree to relinquishing when they were uncertain about doing so.

This is an issue of an entire group of citizens, adopted adults, being barred from a right non-adopted citizens have. Unequal treatment under the law is discrimination by the state holding the records. This discrimination turns access to one's own birth record from a right to a privilege, based solely on the adoptive status of a person, a condition over which the adopted person had no say or control. No other citizens but adopted adults are expected to grovel before a judge or ask someone else's permission in order to obtain access to their own birth records. This places adopted citizens in a position of being considered suspect and placed in a secondary class compared to non-adopted citizens.

At one point in history, no one was denied the right to his or her own birth record, adopted or not adopted. The sealing of these records began in the 1930's to hide the shame of out-of-wedlock pregnancy and infertility. Sealing records was also a means allowing adoptive parents privacy from birth parents. Some states did not seal records until much later, while some states, Alaska and Kansas, never sealed records.

If you who believes records are sealed in order to protect the anonymity of the natural parents, consider the actual law.

1. It is highly notable that records only seal upon the finalization of an adoption. They only stay sealed if an adoption remains intact. They do not seal upon relinquishment, are not sealed while the child is in foster care and are not sealed while the child is in an adoptive placement that is not yet finalized by the court. How does this protect a natural parent's anonymity?

2. If an adoption fails, i.e. the adoptive parents "return" the child, the original birth record with the natural parents' names on it, is unsealed and re-established as the child's only legal birth certificate. How does this protect the natural parents' anonymity? Incidentally, I'm sad to say that there have been stories in the papers lately about failed adoptions occurring.

3. Adult adopted citizens in states with sealed records can gain access to their birth records as long as they petition the court and get a court order. How does this protect a natural parent's anonymity?

4. No one has ever been able to bring forth a relinquishment document that promises anonymity. Even the greatest opponents of open records, such as the National Council For Adoption, has ever been unable to produce such a document.

5. In some states with sealed records, it is the prerogative of the adoptive parents or the adoptee (if old enough to state a desire) as to whether or not the original birth certificate is sealed. The natural parents have no say. How does this protect a natural parent's anonymity?

Hence, there is no guarantee of anonymity or confidentiality, nor can such be promised under the law as written. Oddly enough, however, I have met natural parents who asked if and when they could contact their relinquished children. They were told that upon reaching 18 years of age, the adopted person could retrieve his or her original birth certificate containing the natural parents' names. Upon reuniting many years later, these natural parents were surprised to find that what they were told didn't pan out because no one had told them that the records were retroactively sealed, despite the information they were given.

Although this is not truly an issue about reunion, the topic always brings with it discussion of reunion. Therefore, I shall briefly cover this issue. Reunions happen all the time under sealed records laws. Several states that allow all adopted adults to obtain their original birth records also have contact preference forms. This is a form that natural parents can fill out stating whether or not they wish to be contacted. The preference can be changed at any time. It is filed with the original birth certificate. A copy of it is given to the adopted person if and when s/he obtains the original birth certificate. Because the adopted person knows right away that the natural parent does not want to be contacted, this greatly, greatly decreases the risk of unwanted contact. In states that do not grant access, natural parents and adopted people will continue to find one another, but there will be no information available as to the preference for contact.

Like other citizens, adopted persons and natural parents are capable of handling their own relationships, without state interference. They do not need others speaking for them or deciding what is best for them as though they were children incapable of doing so themselves. This is an infringement of the free association enjoyed by other citizens in our society.

Answer 11

Though I think Adoptees should have access to information. If a birthparent does not want contact they can simple say so, even if their birthchild contacts them.

They can say simply,

“I’m sorry I do not want contact with you. Here is some medical information and heritage information.  Goodbye. If you contact me again I will report you for harassment”

Answer 12

You can't even possibly know how if feels to not know where you came from. The emotional stress and the mental anguish that adoptees go though is horrific.

I didn't know anyone genetically related to me until I gave birth to one. It is incomprehensible for some one to understand the need to just know something.

Don't judge. Can you even conceive of not knowing anyone that even minutely resembles you?

It is a birth-mothers legal right to give a child up but I think it is a basic human right to know where your roots are.