Recurring dream about ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend?

Question

Hey!

2 or 3 times this past month or so I have had a dream about my ex bf. We broke up about 2 1/2 years ago, and i have had a new bf for 1 1/2 years. He has had a new gf for about 6 months or maybe a little longer. I don't really talk to my ex, and email here, IM there or a forwarded text, but that's about it. I wonder why he and his gf have been in my dreams? Basically the dream is just me hanging out with him and he acts sneaky like looking around to make sure she is not around. In the dream we talk about her and he talks about how he is happy, but just keeps looking to make sure she is not there. Bizarre! Anybody know what's up with this??

Answer 1

This is called an ego dream. Ego dreams are dreams that play to your ego and to your subconscious need for the world to revolve around you. We all have them.

On a side note, the fact that you're still talking to your ex in real life, even slightly, is not a good thing. especially if it's so infrequently. I could understand if you were best friends and decided to remain close. But you aren't and you're both still making a point to connect, even a little. It makes me wonder what you're both hanging on for, especially if you're both happy with your current love lives. My advice would be to sever ties. It shouldn't be too hard if you only speak to him as frequently as you say you do. Saying hello if you bump into each other is fine but he shouldn't have your cell number and you shouldn't be texting each other. If you find it hard to cut ties, than your feelings for him may not be as resolved as you think. I say this not to tell you what to do but because if you still have feelings for him than your dream may be more complex than what I'm offering.

As for the dream, just as men do, on a baser level, women also want to be the alpha female. Even though you may not want him, you still have subconscious issues about letting another female have him.

Many women can be completely happy in new relationships but still find themselves annoyed when their ex's move on. There's a very egotistical part of all of us that would like nothing more than to know that our ex's are pining away, realizing that we were the best things to ever happen to them and they'll never be happy without us ever again. It brings a sadistic little smile to my face even thinking about it. It's like a kid with a toy: he may never play with it, but he still doesn't want to give it to his brother.

Which is why, in the dream, you debase his new girlfriend even further by making your ex be the one that worries he'll be 'caught'. You don't worry yourself because your ego assumes that you aren't doing anything wrong- he's YOURS. And he's risking his relationship to hang out with you because you're just (sarcasm) *so amazing*. The fact that he's worried at all tells me that he has a reason to worry-- he's paranoid because he knows that his intentions with hanging out with you aren't innocent. So, in that sense, you're making him feel guilty about an innocent meeting with you because you WANT him to feel guilty-- you want him to still have feelings for you. If he didn't have feelings for you, than there would be no guilt about 2 friends hanging out in a public place.

That being said, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have feelings for him. It goes back to the kid with a toy analogy. The world revolves around you and he's yours.

Ego dreams aren't anything to worry about. Everyone has them, particularly about our ex's. The fact that you've had it more than once in a month, added to the fact that you're still in slight contact with him and can't seem to simply let it go, makes me a bit more uneasy about the source of the dream. I wonder if you've been having issues lately with your current boyfriend, giving you reason to start thinking about 'old times' with your ex, which could be bringing on the dreams? If that's the case, I wouldn't worry. Stress in relationships can often lead us to think about alternatives. It will usually pass as long as things get better with your current relationship.

If everything seems to be fine in your current relationship, though, and you don't have any desire to leave him, then I'd really think about why you and your ex broke up to begin with. There may be some kind of feelings remaining for him. Try to remember why you broke up in the first place. Sometimes in our need to look outside of our current relationships, we sugarcoat our old relationships. There's a reason you broke up-- remember it.

Answer 2

mayb u think that he wants to get bak together with u and in ur dreams it sort of seems like he is

Answer 3

its cause you LOVE him

Answer 4

i'm a psychology major and i have ben doing dream interpretations for a while as a hobby.  i'm gonna focus on the part where your ex-bf's gf is not around

you probably think this mean that you want him back, but i doesn't.  it can mean that you just want to remember the good times you two had together

since this dream has reoccurred makes me think there is a little more to your dream, maybe some small detail that you left out.  the reason for it reoccurring is that there is a problem and you need to find a way to fix it. once you fix it, then the dream should stop

dream interpretations is not an exact science so take my interpretation with a grain of salt

Answer 5

Dreaming about your ex means either your could be in a familiar situation with your new relationship, or something that reminds you of your old one, could be as simple as comparing. Either way its not about your ex , its about you.