Recurring nightmare about ex-boyfriend: What does it mean and how do I make it STOP?

Question

About two years ago, I was in an abusive relationship with this guy who ended up cheating on me. The relationship was horrific and I get scared when I remember it. My current boyfriend is the one who saved me from it and I found refuge in him. Recently, my boyfriend had to leave the country for a few weeks and since then I have been having nightmare's about my ex. The first one was that my boyfriend and I are in a cave having a good time then he tells me he has to leave for a while to get something then when he comes back, it is not him anymore but my ex. I cry uncontrollably but I accept it and feel trapped and disgusted. The second one is that my boyfriend is non-existent in this world and I am w/my ex and back to being miserable. My ex and I are in the kitchen when I suddenly I see disgusting brown vertical lines on his legs and I tell him he has bad brown varicose veins and he assures me that he doesn't and I try to run away from him and he is chasing me. Please help interpret!

Answer 1

You can't stop dreams doing what they do, but you can talk about them and understand what they are trying to tell you. Once you have understood their message, they will change.

The overriding emotion of your two dreams is that you are afraid of losing your current boyfriend; that everything may revert to the way it was with your ex.

Your fear has been triggered of by your boyfriend's absence. You now feel insecure because you no longer have his protection. But at the same time you also fear that he might not return to you from this other country, that it all might turn into a situation where your ex could come back and pester you.

This notion that your current boyfriend might not come back is underpinned by the fact that in the second dream he does no longer exist in this world. Instead you are back with your ex for whom you feel total revulsion and would not want to have s*x again (the kitchen is a hot place and together with legs and veins indicates sexual interaction). You try and evade this situation but you are not feeling safe from him. Even if your ex would not come back to you and pursue you personally, you are still feeling insecure because the absence of your boyfriend has left you very vulnerable. Your main fear  is that your boyfriend may not return to you.

Dreams are tricky. When they portray our anxieties, we dream that one mishap after another is happening. But then it may well turn out that those mishaps were only a picture of our fears superimposed on actions that are not disastrous at all.

When dealing with dreams, one of the most important things is to gauge the FEELINGS you have when you wake up. They usually tell you whether the dream is mere anxiety or if there is something more serious at the root of them.

Answer 2

You don't want to be with your ex but you are still attached. You need to move that attachment over to Mr. Great Guy somehow.