Refusal to go to Nursery School?

Question

My 3 year old daughter has been attending Nursery school on 3 afternoons a week for a little over a month now, and has always seemed to love going. Now all of a sudden she has started crying and saying that she doesn't want to go.

I have spoken with the Nursery manager and it doesn't appear that anything bad has happened at school, indeed on Monday this week I dropped her off no problem, and she was off playing before I had a chance to say goodbye as usual!

Is this a normal setback? Do all children go through this? And what should I do? I'm at a loss, and I cannot pull her out of Nursery as I have to work and I do not think it would be good for her. After all next year she will be starting Primary School and I feel she needs to be used to being away from me, and of course mixing with other children.

I absolutely loved school, all the way through, and I so want her to have the same positive experiences.

Any advice would be great!!

Answer 1

Maybe there is one person who she doesn't like, or maybe she has been told off and din't like it? Or maybe she is just feeling under the weather at the moment. Might sound silly, but have you tried asking her and talking to her about it? I know she's only 3 but I'm sure she's not stupid, she will know why she doesn't want to go

Answer 2

most go through this stage. if the upset is all about nursery n there is no other change her behaviour, she`ll probably come out of this as quickly as she went into it. try not to make a big deal of it. if she is upset when you drop her off, make sure you re- assure her you`ll be back soon n walk away. its hard but you need to do it. for peace of mind give the nursery your mobile number incase she doesn`t settle. i have seen this happen to myself, friends and other parents  and it doesn`t last  long. just remember she`s still little n can miss her mum anytime. enjoy the peace before she starts asking if her friends can come to play after nursery every day lol

Answer 3

this is normal dont worry my kids did this too and they still sometimes try and stay at home-they are 14,10,9- home is nice and comfortable and best of all mum is there!! its ok for your daughter to want to stay home sometimes you just got to remind her of all the things she will miss out on at nursery and the friends she will miss she has only been going for a month and she may be realising that this is a permanent thing tell her its going to be ok you are doing a good job dont worry!!

Answer 4

She has suddenly realised that this is a little more permanent than she thought and she wants to get back to being with you.  Little ones don't know how to articulate their feelings and so they cry. She is probably fine once she's in the nursery.  This isn't at all unusual and while it hurts you as a Mum, she will be fine and it doesn't presuppose she won't enjoy school.  It's just a phase - she's hit the 'separation' stage.

Answer 5

I'm a nursery teacher and we have children coming in some who are on a full time basis and they can be absolutely fine and then some weeks they will cry and not want to let go of their parents, nothing had changed for them at nursery but sometimes children may just be feeling they want their mums and dads and as they are only little may not really understand the concept of the word 'work'. From experience from the children in my care, once they have said goodbye to their parents after a cuddle and a chat to a carer they are usually fine and play and are fine and happy for the whole day. We have had children that have come in upset and then are fine and then as soon as its home time they don't want to go! Or sometimes they are fine and then as soon as their mum or dad comes to pick then up they cry as soon as they see them!-maybe for attention.

My nursery has CCTV cameras in each playroom and in the reception area there is a screen so parents can find their child's room and see what they are doing and how they are, maybe suggest this to your child's nursery?

Try not to worry, most children go through this.

Answer 6

jus make sure on what days maybe a certian person is there and she see him or her and dont want to stay jus make sure there no abuse ...