45 single and adopting a child?????

Question

Alright so I am a 45 year old guy and Im thinking about adopting a child. I have almost made up my mind even. I want a black baby boy. I have never raised a child and am wondering if it will be hard raising a child on my own??? I am willing to go through the hard times because I really want a child. I have never been good with woman always to shy, so still a virgin never got close to a woman before. I know adopting is the only way I will ever have a child and I really want one. So how is it raising a child by yourself, any personal experiences??? I have already made my mind up, just want opinions and experiences.

Answer 1

If you've been unable to form normal relationships, I just don't see you making a good role model for a child who already has strikes against them.  On the other hand, if you come from a large family, always been around kids, or been a great uncle, for instance, then I think you can go forward with no problem.  Just my opinion.

Answer 2

There is a guy in my foster parenting class and he is single. I do not hink you will have any problems. Do you have any women in your life at all, (sister, mom, aunt, cousin). Just becasue you want a boy does not mean that he does not need a female role model in his life. I am not saying that he needs a mom and a dad but atleast to be around both male and female regularly. What type of adoption are you considering? adopting through foster care or adoption through a private organization? I think you would have an easier time if you adopt through foster care plus they will cover most of the expenses or adoption. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

I am raising 6 kids as a single parent but I dont have issues of intimacy like you do. If you cant show love to a partner what quality of nuturing can you give to a needy child ..and all children are needy of love closeness and bonding

Answer 4

You might be a good candidate to adopt from the Foster care system. There is no shortage of black children that need to be adopted you might even be able to get a small (2 to 3) sibling group. If you feel you only want to start with one that’s ok too you should be able to find one easier then if you want a white baby.

Raising a child(ren) by yourself its not going to be easy but it can be done there are lots of singles parents out there both with biological children and others with adopted children, heck even some with both.

You would want to have a strong support system friends/family etc.

Answer 5

Raising a child is hard with or without a spouse/partner. In terms of adoption, it is usually easier if you don't specify the race & gender. Most likely you'll be criticized here for "shopping" for a kid, but also it is difficult to adopt and you'll want to make yourself available for as many potential situations as possible. I'm not sure too many countries allow single men to adopt, so I think domestic adoption may be your best choice. In that case the birthmom usually picks the adoptive parent(s) based on the profile they've compiled and presented.

Also before you'll be able to adopt you'll have to have a home study completed to make sure you are financially and emotionally prepared to care for a child. One way to get started is to look for adoption agencies and/or adoption lawyers in your area. You can also go through your county's fost-adopt program, but that usually takes longer if you are set on a baby (vs. an older child).

Answer 6

Hey, how wonderful!  And just think, by the time you're done changing his diapers, he can start changing yours!

Answer 7

There's no reason you can't be a successful adoptive father!   Yes, it is hard raising a child on your own.  It's also hard raising a child if you're married.  Raising kids these days is difficult no matter what the circumstances.

As a single mom, I can tell you that if it was that hard, I wouldn't have gone back after my first adoption and adopted two MORE kids!    They are an absolute joy to me every day, and sooooooo worth all the struggles and hard work.

One of the pluses of being a single parent is that you have your own parenting style and no one else can interfere.  So it's easier than constantly arguing with your spouse about how the children should be disciplined.  You can do things "your way."

Another advantage is that your child cannot play "good cop, bad cop" with you and your nonexistent spouse.   They can't go to Mom and say, "I AM going to the beach today, because DAD said I could."  If there is only one parent, no means no!

It would be helpful for you to line up a support network of a few friends and family members......people you'd like to be in your child's life with you.    With their support, there is no reason you can't be a wonderful, loving single Dad!