A funeral for a child?

Question

Well unfortunately my cusin's 4 year old daughter passed away in a house fire. Her funeral is tomorrow and I can not make it. I am going to send something to her house though... I don't want to just send flowers or fruit. What else can I send her? She is really having a hard time from this as you can imagine.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry!

I would send flowers and a nice card or maybe make a donation in her daughter's name, but make a personal call and ask her if there's anything you can do. If you're local, maybe you could take her out for coffee or even just sit and listen. Also, don't forget about her in the weeks and months ahead. She will be needing ongoing love and support.

Answer 2

condolences,

in some cultures, they send food/meals to help the family eat during times like this. i'm sure they have not had time to worry about cooking food or anything. not sure if that is what you are looking for, but possibly.

i guess your affection and prayers are all they can ask for really.

Answer 3

Aw--there is no worse pain.  I would send money. A nice card of course.  Maybe later on you can plant a tree in her daughters honor.

Funerals are expensive and you don't expect your child to die.  

Answer 4

wow how unbearable! well God be with you and your family right now! Send her coupons for meal--or frozen meals no one wants to be thinking about cooking when they are severly depressed. Call her and let her cry to you. Moslty kind words and love is what she needs right now! Pray for her and with her!

Best wishes

God bless

xoxox

Answer 5

I always like a live plant like a longstemmed rose bush that can be planted in her memory.  I have to agree that a card with the offer of help-with the house, food, managing things for a while, or money would be a wonderful idea.  You might be able to get her family and friends to put money into a savings account for her.  You could also make a book of photos of her daughter that everyone else had, pictures she may never have seen might be an appreciated gift.

Best wishes for you and your family

Answer 6

A very nice card, telling her that she is not alone and that God is with her daughter and with her family.  I am sorry for her lose, I will pray for her and her family.

Answer 7

How about a donation to "Make a Wish" , "Sick Kids Hospital" or something local in your area.  It would be a nice gesture that this terrible loss will help another child.

Answer 8

Write her a note saying why you can not make such a important event and it had better be a very good reason - she is family and she needs you.

I also agree that food helps alot when I buried my mother we lived off other peoples cooking for several weeks. (she died at 52)

but more than that she needs you there just to be there to help clean, vacuum, just to let her cry.



I also would rethink the not going there are many things that can be rescheduled I personally would have been offended if any of my in town relatives did not come to my mothers funeral, in fact I had 13 out of town relatives travel in just to let us know we were not alone.

Answer 9

The grief over a loss of a child is absolutely horrible.  Nothing you send will take away her pain, flowers or fruit or 50million dollars.  A heartfelt, hand written note, letting her know how much you care and wish you had some magic words to ease her pain would probably be the best avenue.  Or wait a week or so, and then call her up and tell her you are bringing over some frozen home made dinners for her to heat up when she doesn't feel like cooking.

Answer 10

I can't imagine her grief. If money is a problem for the family a nice card with money inside might be a godsend. Alot of families don't have the money for a funeral and then if their house burned down also it will be double hard for them to get back on their feet. Good Luck and I'm very sorry for your families loss.

Bethany

Answer 11

A memory book filled with pictures & stories about your cousin's child's life would be nice.

Even just a little note with a few stories about fun, beautiful things you remember about the child.  

A donation to the local fire rescue department in the child's name.  

Gift certificates for local restaurants - no one is going to feel like cooking for a while.

Something thoughtful from a place like this: http://www.thecomfortcompany.net/

She will continue to grieve this for a long time - the whole family will.  Be sure to follow up every couple of weeks, just to let them know they are not alone.  

Answer 12

Man. That sucks. I have no idea. That is my worst fear. Flowers?....My condolences.