A tough decision?

Question

I've been a stay at home mom for 13 years with 3 kids ranging in age from 13-8 months. Right now I'm in a situation where I don't have my kids. My question is should I take this time to finally go back to school(college) and try to better my life and provide a better life for my kids, or find a menial job and fight to get my kids back? I could sign temporary custody of my kids over to my sister-in-law so I know they're safe instead of in foster homes.

This is tearing me apart but I want to do what's right for everyone involved. so please no negative/rude comments. I don't want to give my kids up, but would it be better to have a happy mommy with a future or just to come home and scrape by on welfare?

Answer 1

The right thing to do is to look after your kids yourself...not to give them to someone else to look after in the mistaken belief that they'll be "better off" they will be better off with their own Mother...nobody else will be good enough to them....it is selfish to leave them with youir SIL and you may never get them back...and I promise you they will resent you for it later in life.

Answer 2

Aw Hun i truly don't know what to say ..But i am sure your children would rather be with you than anyone and yes being on welfare is hard but wouldn't this be better than signing your children over to someone else, could you not work part time and or go to college and ask for help off family for babysitting

Answer 3

can yo live with your sister? if you can and have your kids and go to night school? I would take my kids back now and find a way for schooling! There are many schools that have day care and many schools that are 9-18 months in length and you get a degree in med field or business. I go to traditional school, but I have a totally different life than your. I am fortunate to have a husband and family around. Like I said lean on your sis in law for help! Good luck and get back your kids!!!!

Answer 4

I don't know what you are thinking about going back to school for but would there be any way that you could go to school online.  There are many online schools that take federal financial aid like pell grants.  If you could go to school online then you would not have to move away from your children.

Also do you have help in fighting to get your children back.  Also if you signed them over to your sister in law would you be able to see them more often.  Also if you signed them over to your sister in law what would the possiblity of getting them back.  

Also some states have training programs for single mothers.  These programs include child care, temporary aid while in school, tution, and money for gas back and forth to school.  You might see if there is any possiblity of this.  

I wish you all the luck with you difficult decisions.

Answer 5

if they are in foster care YOU can NOT sign them over to your sister.. YOUR sister would have to be granted custody of them.

If I were you I would go to school online AND get a part time job.  then you are doing both and with school being online you can show that you will be home with the children..

Answer 6

Im so sorry for what  you are going through. Its very hard to have kids taken away from their parent. Can I ask how that happened? First find out what you want to go back to school for, what profession. Get a part time job and apply for aid to school.Based on zero income you should get quite a bit. As far as if your kids would be better off with a happy mommy. I think you are a happy mommy but have hit a bad bump in the road, You seem very kind and very sweet and really want to change things. Money is important for basics but children want and love their mommy not someone elses, Unless their were drugs or abuse, I feel you do have a future . You are taking the first step to making your life better therefore making your kids lives better. You can do it. I know you can and you are showing your love by taking the first step.

Also if you get some people with neg. comments ,, ignore them. You know you and that is all that matters. Do you belong to a church? Can you speak to your parents or friends? email me if you like. angie