ADVICE NEEDED!!!! Disciplining children in public????

Question

OK NOw I dont want stupid answers!!!!!! I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and recently my 4 year old acts up anytime we are in a public place(he gets really mouthy and bossy andsometimes throws a temper tantrum with the big ol tears and all) and when he starts he gets his brother going and Im kinda at a loss on how to displine them, we do not spank our children we use the timeout method at home but that doesnt really work when we are at the store or any place else and I cant give them one when we get home becuase they dont know what it is for!!!! So if anyone has some advice on how they handle this problem please help!!!!!

And no they are pretty good kids at home we have the little bit of fighting over a toy or something but nothing bad and then its over, they learned if they cant share it it gets taken away :)

Answer 1

Don't punish them. It will make things worse.

Tell them next time they are in public - that they are playing a game : Tell them to pretend to be robots and award them later ...see how they respond

Answer 2

So much for no stupid answers....

But i am a mom of 5. My oldest two are 17 months apart.

( now 18 & 16).

But you can give time outs at stores. The bathroom stall has a seat for you to sit while your 4 year stands in the corner.

He acts out because he knows you have no recourse at the store.

And dont think for one minute that 4 yr doesnt know why he is in trouble hours later. You can make sure he knows exactly what he is going to get or not get at home and when you get there you say now... go get in bed... or  have your time out... or no dessert.

The two yr old needs to be handled a little different. However, remember you just have to be more tolerant of a 2 yr old behavior. Either be ok with possible embarrassment or leave the situation. I wouldnt leave every time though, becasue you will see that the 4 yr old will manipulate that too if you happen to be somewhere he doesnt feel like being.

And reward good behavior.

At the beginning of the visit say.... ok if you are good the whole time you can ride the little quarter ride in front... or get something out of the machine.

If at any point they mess up you just give one warning... ok if you keep doing that or do that again... no ride.

And make sure he knows what he is excpected. I hate when my kids ask for everything or anything evertime we go to the store.

So that is one of the things I make clear in the beginning of the trip.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

ummm....cool family

it's okay. every children has that stages and it's absolutely normal if they are a healthy and active children

it shows how healthy they are

the younger one will soon learn to admire the older one and almost worship him as the King

even if you tell a child to do what to do it will affect only for the moment you tell them to, not even a minute

just be glad that they are healthy and active enough to bother you

cool family

Answer 4

Such helpful answers you've gotten so far...

I would put them in timeout in the store - find a spot where they won't be tripped over, and make them sit there for 1 min. for each year of their age. I saw Supernanny do this - boy did it work!

Answer 5

power precieved is power achieved . if u spank at home and it works. threaten them with the same right then and there. and if they dont stop thats what restrooms are for..

Answer 6

honestly u need to to scare them wehter u hit or jus yell the need to be afraid of u thats the only way they will respect you

Answer 7

When my kids act up in the store, I stop, grab them up and spank their butt or leave.  I have left a full shopping buggy at Wal-Mart before.  It depends on how bad they are acting up and how many of the 4 are doing so.  My 5 year old is defiant, but when we go shopping, he always behaves because he wants a quarter for the machines when we are leaving the store.

Answer 8

he could be slightly autistic or have some other disorder.  bring him to the doctor and find out.  don't beat his ***.  the best thing you can do is try to help him and make him more comfortable.

Answer 9

I had this same problem with my son at that age. It will take some time to get use to but you have to stop shopping and take them directly to the car do not say anything to them until you get there. Calmly Put them in the car and tell them that they are in time out. Do not leave them alone just calmly sit in the front seat and just let them be for about 5 minutes. Then ask them if they are ready to finish shopping. It might take you longer to go to the store but after a while it will work trust me!

Answer 10

This is simple manipulative behaviour because he feels he can get what he wants in public.  Two mistakes would be to give him what he wants and encourage him to be spoiled, or to become abusive, like screaming or hitting and out-of-control.  He is old enough to understand consequences, so tell him next time you go out that he is staying with (?  babysitter, relative, etc.) until he is able to act appropriately. Stick to this and he will learn good public behaviour.

Answer 11

well take them were theres no cameras and give them a good old fasion beating. thats the oly way a kids ever goan learna dn dont come to me with the bull c**p that thats wrong or not. Alot of people learned by that and so did i.

Answer 12

well..i'll tell u wht MY parents did..

they would dicipline me then n there..not spanking or or yelling..  dont exactly  "yell" be stern in a quiet manner.. tell them they better keep quiet... or try to come up with a compromise with them...though i feel tht is another way to spoil them...

each parent has a different method of dicipling their child or children ... see wht suits u best ..then try tht..

ALL THE BEST!

Best Wishes

knowledge seeker

Answer 13

give them some thing to get there mind off what ever is the problem u know like a toy. or just ignore it till they give up

Answer 14

if u r in a store, just leave and drop them off with dad or grandparents. shop in peace.

Answer 15

Talk to them before you go into a store, if the behavior starts give 1 warning such as "stop screaming now or we will leave and go home"  If the behavior continues, and it probably will for a little while, then leave.  Stop whatever you are doing and escort them to the car and go home.  You will have to leave a lot of full shopping carts just sittinig in stores, but your kids will soon get the point that you mean business.  The key is to be consistant, do it everytime, no matter what.

Answer 16

When he tantrums leave your cart some place safe, take him to the car, have him do his time out there, go back to what you are doing.

Answer 17

I use timeouts in public as well. If we are in a mall, we can leave the store and go to a bench.

The biggest thing is not to feed into it. They are trying to push limits because they know they can. They want attention, even if it is negative attention.

Answer 18

If you don't spank, then the only option that you have is to just leave and make sure that you explain why you are leaving and why the behavior is unacceptable.  Yes, it may be inconvenient, but in the end, they will learn that bad behavior just means that they don't get to go out.

Answer 19

Don't deal with them... Just walk around and ignore them. If he refuses to move in the store and sits on the floor or stands and wont move... walk away. But dont TOTALLY leave. just go around a corner or stand somewhere behind him where he can't see you, but you can see him. Make him think you left.

Or if he does follow you but wont shut up lol, then  just take him to the car, drive him home, drop him off with a parent or adult, then go back and shop in peace. ;)

Answer 20

Bribe him with candy and high sugared drinks.

Answer 21

I had this problem when my children, I just ignored them and acted if I didn't notice it. I also would walk a short distance away to where I could still see them, but they would not have an audience. They quit when they figured out I wasn't paying attention to it.

Answer 22

Try not to show any reaction when they do this and stand still and wait for him to calm down. If he doesnt get any reaction from you he will realise that this behaviour is pointless and he should quit fairly quickly. He will also grow out of it naturally anyway:)

Answer 23

you dont need 2 punish litel kids i didnt get punised til i was bout 7 and now im 13

Answer 24

What I do is Not Take Them Anywhere! My Kids are the same way. They don't go with me anymore. I go get what I have to do and they stay with Dad or Grandma

Answer 25

Easy, they don't get to go and each time you leave them with your spouse or anyone else be sure they KNOW they aren't going because they don't behave.

Enough times of you returning and speaking of all the fun things you did, the ice cream you ate, etc.... and it's too bad they couldn't be good enough to go along... they'll catch on.

Answer 26

I have 4 kids and when mine try to pull that on me, I will drop whatever I'm trying to do and just leave. Pain in the butt, I know but it works-they don't do it anymore. I'm like you with the time outs. You have to let them know that behaving like that ANYWHERE is unacceptable.

Answer 27

pull the belt off and show him whos boss around there.

Answer 28

Well, first always take them apart from the crowd and a good spank is permitted, they already know that this behavior drives you out in public and that is one of the reasons they do it. Don't let them do this with you, show them that you can discipline them even with people around. Something else you can do is  that if are with another person, like the other parent or one of the grandparents you can discipline them by sending them to the car as a punishment for their behavior. Always inform them what bad behavior is the trigger for the punishment and the discipline.

Answer 29

I would find an out of the way spot in the store to do a time out.  

I would only leave the store if they didn't stop tantruming after the time out time is up.

Answer 30

If you are against smacking/spanking them in public, as soon as they act up, drop what you are doing, take them to the car, and either take them to a babysitters or relative while you finish your errands, or discipline them then.

Answer 31

Just take away toys and let them have them back when they learn their lesson when I was little my mom would give me a quarter that i kept in a jar if i was misbehaved then it would go down to nothing or a nickle and if I was a angle it would be a dollar try this because a dollar To little kid seems like allot of money and don't give them any more then they deserve or make them feel spoiled and tell them if they were good or bad at the end of the day and what not to do again.