Abusive brother? Help?

Question

I've been told by some people that my brother is abusive. Unfortunately, those people can't help me. I guess in a way he is. I'm 16 years old, and since I was about 8-9 he's been saying really hurtful things to me, but they're always really small things. Well, now i've gotten those things drilled into my head, and I know I shouldn't listen to him, but I do. I can't help it. I get really upset even when he just looks at me. It's always something like "wow Kat, gained a few pounds? It looks like it!" (btw, I weigh 110 lbs). Or "Kat, eat a little less, your looking really chubby". I can't take this anymore. I've told my mom and dad, but they just think it's normal brother-sister things. I have another brother, AND a sister, so I know what normal is, and this brother isn't normal. Then he tries to control me. Like when I'm having a bad day and just feel like being left alone he'll say "be nice". Doesn't sound harmless does it? Well it is, just the tone in his voice makes me cringe and want to cry, so I do. Everything has to be about him. If I clean the kitchen, I don't tell anyone, why would I as long as it's clean? Well he doesn't seem to notice that, and if he cleans it again, he makes sure only I know that he cleaned it. He's just such an @ss. I'm a sensitive person, so it seems worse to me, but I know this isn't normal. He has my parents wraped around his finger, and is constantly making me look like the drama queen, when really all I want if for them to listen and understand why I feel this way, because their son is insane! How do I make them listen? I can't take two more years of this, I just can't. I feel like im going insane. Because of him, I've distanced myself from all of my friends, because I can't stand the way he treats me in front of them.

Answer 1

Well there is really only one option. Beat Him With A Bat While He Is A Sleep.

Answer 2

Well this will prob. happen with alot of ppl, not only ur brother..

some ppl have a mean nature

but the best things 2 resolve this are pray..

and have a talk with him about it, clear things up, and tell him how much he hurts u.. i bet he will understand. he cant b that insane

Answer 3

i think you should show your parents what you wrote here.

Answer 4

well i have an older brother as well...he isn't that bad but he is bad. I am a sensitive person as well and my family has gone through  couple things but i know what you feel like being the victim of something not right. Anyway what you should do is mabey set up a camera and record ho he treats you(if its that bad) and if you try that and it dosnt work for water reason tell a teacher or some other adult in your life that can let your parents know what is really going on.

Answer 5

omg ! i feel really bad 4 u! u shud tell sum1 about ur brother; since ur parents dont listen maybe tell a teacher or friend. maybe even ask to talk to ur counselor at school. good luck :]

Answer 6

I had an abusive brother too from a young age.  It does hurt.

Bullies do it because they get a reaction.  Don't play into it.  The things he says hurt because you care what he thinks.  You will have to learn in life to be less sensitive (I had to), so you might as well practice on him.  If he's a jerk, it doesn't matter what he thinks.  Whether you care or not, don't show it.  Ignore him when he's mean and respond when he's nice.  It works for animal trainers.

Standing up to a bully doesn't necessarily mean getting in his face.  It just means showing him he can't hurt you.  If you act bored by him, you steal the reaction he's looking for.

Answer 7

hi.. if i were you, i'll just ignore the unpleasant things he says.  for example, if he says you're fat, then just ignore him or just laugh at him. don't show that it affects you negatively because the more he sees that you get irritated by him, the greater pleasure he gets in teasing you.  don't let your brother take over your life.  just ignore him or rise above him.  when he is a jerk to you in front of your friends, just laugh at him.  or you could also snap back at him in a joking way. don't let him see that you are down.. if this doesn't work for you, you may always have a heart-to-heart talk with him. if he still doesn't change, well at least you tried. :-)

Answer 8

the best thing you could could do is to stand up for yourself. I have a brother much like yours. Except he says much more hurtful things to me. ANd I was exactly like you.. I'm very sensetive and would never stick up for myself.. until my best friend told me i had to stick up for myself and when i did he knows that i wont take any of his $hit. So just stand your ground and eventually he will back off cause he likes to make you upset and once he sees that you dont care what he says or does he will get bored with it and move on. BE strong girl!!

Answer 9

Give em h**l kid. IF you don't hold you're own the world is going to eat you up. If it's not you're brother. It will be a boyfriend, co-worker. Life will be a nightmare. Respect isn't given freely, it is earned. Go earn your's

Best of luck

R.M

Answer 10

I have a little sister and I use to tease her all the time when we were younger but wow. Not that badly I dont try to work my way in her head. Then later on we kind of bonded and I dont tease her anymore. This sounds like he is trying to minipulate you. I have 2 other sisters and one of them says those same exact words to me "be nice" when ever I go visit my mom and dad. Now this is wierd because it is like I dont say anything offencive to her and she just makes something up or sticks her middle finger up at me just for no reason. I dont do anything to defend myself or anything and just take it. I guess mabe now I am just to tender hearted and I could never fight my own flesh and blood. I use to pick on all of them when I was younger but around 8th or 9th grade I just stopped alltogether. There has been a time I would of taken a bullet for one of my sisters for helping her move out of her ex boyfriend's house. I wasnt expecting anything in return except she just keeps getting on my case for just little things. Then she says why are you so moody. I try to talk to her about it but she just dont understand so I just kind stay away from her. I guess everything happens for a reason. The best idea I can come up with is mabe get him a present or something he wants real bad for his birthday or something like that but im not saying like be a suck up or anything like that. Talk to your mom and dad. Talk to your mom alone about it and tell her it really hurts you. Moms allways understand thier daughters. Good luck and may God bless.

Answer 11

When you feel like he's getting into your head just simply remove yourself from the situation and if that doesn't work maybe go to a friends house. He really needs to know how bad this is hurting you so make him feel it. One time just blow up at him get everything out you want to say about how much you hate him how you could care less if he was around and see how he takes it.

Answer 12

when me and my older sister get in fights she makes remarks like "fat @ss " but she eats more than me even though she has high metabolism  she thinks it funny but my oldest cousin was just like her and when he was like 30(17 yrs older) he got really chunky

im  108 pounds  and shes 97 a 11 pound diffirence and  she makes me feel pretty bad i would ignore him fore the most part but i would fight fire with fire  just to make him feel how it feels

Answer 13

Hi i hope you don,t mind me saying this but your brother is a bully

and there is only one way to deal with a bully.And that is to stand up to him and take back control hes working on your mind and he will make you sick get him around the table with your Mom and Dad

and tell them what you have to put up with.Your Mom and Dad don,t know whats going on they will not stand for that he knows they don,t know. Belive me it will all change when you tell them.Best of look

Answer 14

talk to your other brother and sister. Tell them about it! or just talk to him! tell him to stop and that its disturbing you! if he still doesnt listen, tell him the same thing that he tells you.