Adopting and Fostering a child?

Question

I just found out that I can not have children do to PCOS. But it was always my dream to be a mother. What are the cadntrails that you need to have to be able to adopt a child? And also to foster a child? Any thing would be great. Do you HAVE to be a high school graduate? Is there a certain age range? Can you be single or dating, or do you have to be married?

Answer 1

it varies by state, country and agency. But most or all are 21 at the youngest to foster or adopt.  Some states you must be married and other you don't have to be. and a parent can choose who they want to adopt. But the adoptive parent must be able to quilify the same way you would if adopting a strangers baby. Foster to adopt is probably the cheapest and less strict way to go.

Answer 2

ook..so i know alot about this..b/c i'm adopted...and u want to adopt..b/c if u foster then u might get attatched to the kids or kid and then hen it comes time for a family to adopt them u dont wan to part  with the kid..i was in foster care foe 3 yrs when i was born the another 2 yrs 5 yrs later..soo i know alot..and u have to take classes and have like a good record...no jail time,or child abuse...they might say no if ur goin to pass away soon idk what ur case is..but um u dont have to have gone to high school and passed..u have to get a licence to be a foster parent and..its good to have a husbend....for support and stuff but u dont have to have on..idk how u feel about the kind of child u get but really try to get a baby b/c dealing with kids that were my age i was 31/2 the first time then i was 101/2 the second time..and to tell u its a lil depressing knowin ur adpoted...soooo idk what u want but a baby is best..

Answer 3

I have PCOS and fibroids, and yes, it can hinder getting pregnant, or in my case, cause multiple miscarriages.

To be able to adopt a child through the state, I am not sure whether you have to be a high school graduate if you're older than 18 or not.  

We were both graduates, but I would assume that if you are able to work and make a good income that could support having a child, then there's no difference between a birth parent with no high school education doing the same thing.

You can be single and foster or adopt.  Each state has their own minimum age of which you can do this.

A word of caution though...if you're dating or married, your partner has to be on board with the adoption, too, or you will not be allowed to proceed.

Also, if you're married, you have to be married a certain amount of years, the average seems to be 2 to 5, and that varies from state to state.

You would have to sign up with the state, pass a homestudy, take classes called PRIDE or MAPP (depending upon your state) to educate you on the issues of children in the system and how to properly parent children with these needs.

Then, you wait to be matched and then you get disclosure on the child(ren), and if you want to proceed, you say yes, and then you meet them.  Sometimes, you get disclosure (the reports about the children since they've been in care) and say no...depending upon your comfort level.

Then, if you meet and it's good, you continue on until they come for an overnight stay, and if it's still good, a move in date is set.

Try going to adoption.com and signing up for free and start learning a LOT of what you need and scenarios that can happen.  I've been there since 2004 and it's such a valuable resource!

ETA:  Yes, your friend can name you as the desired person to adopt her child...if that is the case, you either go through an agency (which being it's a friend, I would say no to an agency) or by getting an Adoption Attorney in your state to handle the legal aspects of it.

Answer 4

I'm not quite sure about the age because when I was in foster care I remember a friend of the family or other family member had to be 21 or older to become my guardian and I believe just to adopt you have to be about 25.

Answer 5

Having PCOS does not mean that you can't get pregnant, it just means it takes  a lot longer.  Have you been to a reproductive endocrinologist yet?  You may have an additional problem such as uterine polyp/fibroids.  Sometimes these can be surgically corrected.  Also, this may sound crazy, but I am reading a book called "the Infertility Cure" by Randine Lewis, PhD and it talks all about traditional Chinese medicine (accupuncture, herbs, etc) to help with infertility and it's supposed to be VERY successful in helping women conceive.  I have PCOS as well and no Western medicine has helped yet, so I have an appointment for TCM in a few weeks.  I have been reading that book and it makes a lot of sense to me!

Good luck!  

As for adoption, the laws vary from state to state and even then, different agencies have additional requirements.  It is usually VERY expensive and the wait can be long and hard, especially if you want a white newborn.  You would probably have better luck adopting through the state.

Answer 6

first of all fostering a child is very hard. i am a foster father second do not take your friends child in the long run you will not be friends and it will get messy for both of you. the thing about fostering is you might not get to adopt. and depends on the state you live . go to your local child services for the answers. it cool you want to foster but at the same time it is very difficult. my girlfriend has pcos and that is why we are fostering. do ALOT of thinking before you go that route.

good luck and i hope you make the right choice.

Answer 7

When you go through the process to foster and/or adopt, you go through what is called a home study.  This is where you are interviewed and asked to show that you can provide a stable and safe home for the kids.  You may also be required to take classes and training in parenting, behavior modification, first aid, etc.  

There is no "template" for a foster and/or adoptive parent.  In some areas, your lack of education and being single might be an issue, but I believe that as long as you can show you are capable, responsible, and pose no danger to the child, you should be okay.

Your best bet is to contact your local or state agency responsible for foster care and child/family issues.  They can provide you will lots of information.  Given there is a national shortage of both adoptive and foster parents, they should be very helpful.  Alternately, you can look for private adoption agencies in your area.  Having been through the foster-to-adopt process, I encourage you to go that route, but that is up to you.

In terms of adopting a friend's child, this is usually handled directly through a family attorney.  Note that you and the birth mother should each have your own attorneys.  They will be able to tell you what the process is, I imagine there is a lot of differences to this process based on state and local law.