Adoption? foster parent?

Question

my hubby and i have looked into being foster parent in oregon and also interested in adoption we have three of our own kids, is there anyone that has done this and can tell me about your experiences with it?

Answer 1

I have four biological children. We are currently in the end stages of adopting a child from the foster system. We went through the fost/adopt program. This is where you foster a child with the intention of eventually adopting. Our daughter was placed with us when she was 18mo. old, she is now almost three. Her mother and father are meth addicts and habitually in & out of jail and their parental rights have not been terminated. My daughter visits her parents once a week in the social services office (when they show up or are not in jail). Going throught the social service sytem is free (in Los Angeles) and you actually are paid a monthly stiped even after the adoption is final until they are 18 years old.

As far as my other children are concerned , they all absolutly adore their sister. There are adjustments of course, anytime there is a change in family structure there is. Honestly, my only concern is that the children have become quite attached to each other and there is always the possibility that my daughter will be reunited with her mother. This is something I have discussed with all of them and if it happens we will deal with it.

She has been with us over a year and her mom or dad still will not except any help of anykind, so her being reunited with her parents is unlikely. In a perfect world, at least one of her parents could get it together and be a parent to her, until then we loveingly accept the role and in the end, if she is reunited then all is great with the world and we will mourn but be happy for her. This is the risk we take.

I would not hesitate to recommend the foster system to anyone. My brother also adopted this way. He has one biological child. He got a newborn and an 11 month old. However, his wait was not as long because parental rights were already terminated. So if you do not want to risk losing a child, then you can request a child that has already been cleared to adopt. Foster children are in desperate need of families. Please consider this option. Good luck and many blessings.

Answer 2

My friend was taken in a family and her foster parents were nice she said then her sister was taken into a different family and then she ran away from home... I hope you will find it easier to have foster children, they are not so easy to handle at times...

Answer 3

I'm in Oregon, and am adopting through foster care.  So far, my only complaints are that we've been waiting a long time (a year and 5 months since our homestudy was completed), and that we didn't get enough education regarding what it's like for the adopted child (we've done a lot of research on our own, though).  Feel free to email me if you have any questions.

Answer 4

We went through the foster-to-adopt process in Texas, each state is different, but I imagine much of our experience is true most places.  We have older biological children and adopted a sibling pair, two boys.  We couldn't be happier and generally found the process straight forward, with none of the horror stories some report.

-it took two years from starting the process until we adopted.  About 4-5 months getting certified (classes, homestudy, etc), a year to get a placement, and adopted 8 months after that.

- Fostering is great, but involves a lot of rules and paper work.  You have to document everything and write monthly reports.  You have regulat visits from caseworkers and others involved in the case.

- One problem we found is that the case workers, attorneys, and others involved with the case are often overworked.  And, there is also frequent turn over.  In the 8 months we fostered, our sons had 3 different caseworkers and there were several times when we had to make a lot of phone calls and 'pester' people to get the case moving forward.

Answer 5

My husband and I don't have any biological children but we have been foster parents for 3 years and we are in the process of adopting a sibling set.  They are 15 and 16 and we have had them for 2 years.  The adoptions will be complete next month.

We enjoy doing foster care and I will not lie to you sometimes it is very hard but it is also very rewarding.  Some kids come with alot of extra baggage but you just be there for them and work with them.  You have to be ready for some tough and difficult children but just remember they have been through alot and need love, understanding, kindness and patience.  Sometimes lots of patience.

Then when they stay in contact with you and say you made a difference in their life it is all worth it.  Contact me if you would like to talk more.

Answer 6

Becoming a foster parent is a very wonderful and noble action. You will reap many benefits by welcoming a child into your family.  The most important aspect of fostering is to keep in mind that you are rescuing a child and offering him/her a safe haven.  Please do not think that you will automatically get rewarded for this noble behavior. You may, but then again, you may only experience stress, anxiety, and difficulties in dealing with officials, the legal system, and the child him or herself.  You cannot expect that your foster child will become available for adoption - first priority is always given to the birth family no matter what they have done.  This has changed a little recently, and you have a better chance of receiving a child who is likely to become available for adoption, but this is a real c**p shoot.  Its still worth doing, though, because you're rescuing a child.  That's the bottom line.  

I am one of the fortunate ones who went into foster care and ended up adopting my son when his birth mom gave him up. I never wanted to adopt, I had started fostering because I felt so guilty about so many children without a safe home. I thought I could help one or two children out and then be able to better enjoy my own safe and prosperous lifestyle. Then, b-mom was found and decided she could not give this child a decent life and gave up her rights. I will never stop thanking her for that selfless decision! The social workers asked me to adopt. I couldn't face the idea of tossing this babe back into the social care system even though I never thought I wanted to be a permanent mom.

Now, almost 12 years later, I cannot begin to tell you how my son has enriched my life and brought me happiness I never expected. Yes, we have many issues - what family does not? I can't retire - too many regular and extraordinary expenses! But these issues are trivial compared to the joy of seeing him grow and develop into such a wonderful young man! When people say that my son is lucky, I always reply that I'm the lucky one!

And I wish you as much joy and good fortune with your decision, no matter what it is, as I have had with my adopted son.

Answer 7

Look for job websites and usually websites will tell you about some peoples summaries about being foster parents.

Answer 8

The best option since you are willing to foster but wouldn't mind adopting is do the Foster-to-Adopt.  You can go through you local county agency and get the free classes and home visits.