Adoption...help?

Question

my husband and i are considering adoption through childrens services, where the children will be older. i want to give them a better life but i'm nervous because i'm not sure what to expect....any advice....anyone who has done this before???? ( i am researching it and have been for a long time)

Answer 1

Please adopt only because you want to be parents.  "To give a child a better life" sounds great, but it carries with it a burden of gratitude for the adopted child.  So, at least be aware of the words you use and how they can impact any child you decide to raise.

That said, call your local DFCS-department of family & child services or CWS-child welfare services (the name varies from one county to another).  Most provide orientation services to potential foster parents. You can choose to be a 'foster-adopt' home.

In my county, foster parents can choose the age range & gender of the children they'll foster. They can also exclude certain circumstances the child may have experienced if they feel unprepared to handle those issues.  Some children are as young as 6 months up to 2 or 3 years old (and older, of course)

Children in foster care are provided with counseling or therapy as needed.   Along with medical and dental care.

Good luck!

Answer 2

i wanna know the same thing

Answer 3

I have two adopted brothers.  My parents were foster parents for a long time and decided to adopt my brothers.  They were a little older...one was 10 and the other was 3 (I think...).  My dad always said to consider the fact that you are adopting not only your child, but their history as well.  You cannot make up for years of abuse or maltreatment, but you can make the rest of their childhood better.  

Make sure that you offer the children counseling if they need it and be sure to talk to anyone that knows the children that is willing to talk to you.  I am NOT saying not to adopt these children, I am saying to be prepared.  You never know what they have been taught and it is really hard to break previous habits.  That is not necessarily a deal breaker for you.    

The special thing about kids that are adopted is that their parents get to CHOOSE them and most parents don't get to do that.  

Oh...and talk honestly about the adoption with the children...they need to know they can trust you.  Feel free to email me with personal questions.  My family is pretty open about this, so I am an open book from the inside.

Answer 4

Most agencies will give you a list of others that have paved the way before you.

I have written emails to some of the contacts and they are more than willing to answer any and all of my questions.

Ask your agency for a contact list.

Good Luck!! : )

Answer 5

I have adopted 5 children through children services and have had a wonderful experience.  We would do it all over again if we had to.  Our first child was going on four years old when he came to live with us, and he is 12 this month.  Our second child was a one day old infant straight from the hospital, she is now 5 years old.  Since then we have adopted three more.

a 3 year old an 11 1/2 year old and a 4 month old.  All of them are wonderful children and make our lives complete!

Answer 6

Rephrase your wuestion to include foster parents and you will get more answers about preparing for the tough things older children bring that need attention. Neglect, abuse, being moved to many different homes and not feeling like they belong, etc.