Adoption vs. Pregnancy?

Question

I keep on switching back and fourth between adopting a baby or getting pregnant and having a biological baby. (I'm young so they're is still time to decide.) Like every year we have a family get together for the Easter Holiday. Last week I had my heart set on adoption but then I saw my little neice and my cousin's baby boy and now I think that I want to have a biological child. I don't really know anymore! Any comments and suggestions will get you some points, so "answer" away! And please don't yell at me for talking about this. You're helping no one ;)

Answer 1

It is a tough decision.  Do you want to help a child or have your own? Some people do both. It is all about what you can afford. I gave birth twice and it is an amazing experience. I have also looked into adoption. What it really boils down to is what you are prepared to do. Do you want to go through with the ups and downs of trying to conceive and being pregnant? Do you want to go through the sometimes mental anguish of trying to adopt and the sometimes months of waiting. If it were me, I would try having a child first and then adopt later. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Have your OWN child if you want to be a mother. If you adopt you will just be a stand-in for the real mother. Maybe that is OK with you, more power to you, but all babies want their real mothers. Can you live with that?

For more info, read "The Primal Wound"

Answer 3

I know my wife said she loved the fact of being prego

feeling the baby move the first time>>seeing the baby on ultrasound>>minus morning sickness and so on

but she also said said our son was worth the pain of labor

this was after I was yelled at for 4 hours :)

there are downsides to both bio and adoption>>being prego you get stretch marks (not everyone)but most do>>sickness>>the upside>>bigger chi chi's which most women like (j/k)ladies>>adoption>>>you just don't have the preg experience>>>doesn't mean you will love the child any less>>you are on the fence w/this>>so either way think about it long and hard>>adoption is a lifetime committment>>*** well as bio child>>>either way make sure whatever you choose you have zero doubts and give all your love to your child>>>how about doing both>>>of course not at the same time>>>have your bio 1st>>>then later adoption>>or adoption >>then bio>>>best of luck to you

Answer 4

If you can have your own, got for it. I would give anything to have my own baby. I love looking at my sister's kids and how they look and act like her.

Answer 5

Lizzy wrote: "On the upside of Adoption, you will get a child of your choice [boy or girl] without the pain of labor. But everything has a downside.. If you adopt, one day when your child grows up they may wonder about their real parents. I do know some parents though who do not tell them they are adopted."

Wonder who their parents are? Anyone who doesn't tell a child who their parents are should be chagred with withholding vital information and inflicting mental torture on human being. Adoption isnt's about building a family and becoming parents. Adopted persons already have parents.

Answer 6

There really are NOT many babies who need new homes. There are many more people wanting to adopt babies than there are babies who need adopting.

So if you want to adopt, I'd suggest an older child. Children age 10 and up who are in the foster system are the ones who are in danger of never having a stable family to raise and love them.

Answer 7

Pregnancy. Definitely. As an adopted child who had a "good" life, I can say that there is a primal wound and that you will not fully know your adopted child. They will not be completely content ever. As a last resort, it is good, but don't make it your first choice.

Answer 8

Adoption is always great. So many children are in need of parents out there and it's great that you're considering that!! You should always place your health before anything-is there a risk of having a baby of your own? You should make a list and write down all the good and bad things about having a biological baby and adopting.

Answer 9

While adoption is great so is being pregnant.  I haven't adopted yet (going through the process), but I have been pregnant and I can tell you, at least for me, that I don't love one child more than the other...doesn't matter to me how they came to live with me!

Answer 10

im curious,why on earth would you want to adopt if you can have your own baby???

I think you should have a biological baby and save the other babies for people who cant have babies....

I dont mean that,in a mean way..........

I just mean that there are a lot of women that cant have babies for one reason or another and I think that they should get an adopted baby first before someone who can have babies.....

There is nothing wrong with adopting a baby,but why not have a biological baby if you can?

Answer 11

I think wait until you are older, married or with a partner and decide together.  If you can have children though, go ahead, procreate!  If not, adopt a child from foster care.

Answer 12

When I was younger, I always wanted to adopt a child.  I was terrified of child birth and because I had cousins who had been placed in foster care, I had a desire to want to help children.  Adoption seemed the logical plan when I was thinking about my future.

However, once I was married, society seemed to expect my husband and I to have a child through pregnancy.  We tried for many years.  We probably would have given up sooner, but since my husband is an only child, there was an unspoken "pressure" to continue the blood line.  Ironically, we tried to conceive for years and could not.  So even though my mind may have changed with regards to how I would become a parent, it was not necessarily how things happened once I was ready to start a family.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your life changes every day and what you feel you want to do today may change once you get married and plan a family.  The only thing that I can recommend is that you do as much as research as you can when you are considering adoption to make sure it is right for you and your family.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 13

I think that you should do both.  Or at least get certified to be a foster/adoptive parent and foster a child.  Then you can have a biological child later on in life.

Answer 14

Why would you not want to have your own bio-child?

         So many women who cannot have children would love to stand in your shoes and make that choice for you.  yes have your own child.

                 If you are having a hard time conceving then I would follow the adoption route.

         good luck and just follow your heart, you know what to do.

Answer 15

There's nothing saying you can't do both!! You could certainly adopt a child and then have a biological child or the other way around. Another wonderful way to open your home to a child (or children!) is through Foster Care. There are so many great kids out there who need loving families it would be a wonderful gift for you to give. I would like to have a biological child myself (to go through the whole pregnancy experience and what not) and then I'd like to be a Foster parent to older children, and maybe Foster-to-Adopt. While it's true there are babies who need homes, there are plenty of families who can't have biological children who want to adopt babies, and not enough homes for older children.

One other thing you haven't considered is your partners point of view on this. You may partner with someone who absolutely doesn't want to adopt, or absolutely doesn't want biological children. That will, of course, play a factor into what you decide later on.

Answer 16

Im very young & I, too catch myself thinking about this..

Adoption & Pregnancy are both very touchy subjects.

On the upside of Adoption, you will get a child of your choice [boy or girl] without the pain of labor. But everything has a downside.. If you adopt, one day when your child grows up they may wonder about their real parents. I do know some parents though who do not tell them they are adopted.

than there is pregnancy..

Pregnancy is a long, hard but well worth it wait. If you decide to have your own child; instead of adopt..you get to experience that moment that most mothers dream of when you give birth to your child and hear it cry and get to hold it. Its something you & your loved one get to share..it is your baby & you dont ever have to worry about the day when your child asks if its adopted, if that ever comes.

the downside to pregnancy..i would not like to think there is, but your baby could come out stillborn, birth defects and maybe grow up and later be diagnosed with something & than that will lead to guilt of you and your loved one thinking its your fault..

hope i helped

<3