Advice for husband/daughter??

Question

I had just asked a few questions about my aughter and husband. I got alot of great answers, but need alittle more advice.Its a long story, but Ill get to the point.My daughter is 10, shes my step.I consider her as my own. Shes getting out of control.How do I get my husband to take chrage? How do get get him to get out denial of the things she does?? He will NOT disapline her. Shes headed towards a very bad path. Shes 10 and showing boys her b***s. Shes down right rotten to everyone. She tries to hurt people and refuses to listen to anyone because her parents wont displaine her in any way. Hes in denial, and avvoids anything she does, he doesnt believe she does any wrong, but shes getting out of control.I treat her as my own, and the only form of disapline she gets is from me,so of course in her mind im the bad one, and she doesnthave to listen to me.He doesnt want to believe she does any wrong. I have a one yer old, and will treat both the same way, thats not even an issue. CONTINUED

Answer 1

I think you should take your baby and yourself away for a couple weeks and unwind. Just you and him that will give both of you plenty of time to bond and relax away from all her drama and gives dad a front seat to see her act up. If he still refuses to act then you say that he either hands her over to her mother or you and the baby need some time apart from till he is ready to be a father to his daughter put some pants on and handle the situation. DO NOT GO SOFT ON THIS ISSUE IF IT AFFECTS YOUR SON IT AFFECTS YOU.

Answer 2

I think you actually answered your own question there toward the end, when you said you're ready to give him an ultimatum.  You sound very distressed about this situation, and at some point it's going to affect you emotionally and physically to the point where it's your own well-being in jeopardy (and let's not forget your 1-year-old and the environment that child is being raised in).  If things are as bad as you say, then I think it's time for your husband to make a choice.  But really this is more of a difference in parenting style than anything, and you can't force a person to change.  So if he doesn't want to step up and discipline his daugther appropriately, then basically it's up to you to decide how much more you're willing to take.  Either you lower your own standards (which I'm definitely not recommending) or you have to make a tough choice: are you willing to leave him over this?  I'm sorry, I wish I had an easy answer for you.  Is family counseling an option for all of you?

Answer 3

First of all your step daughter is going through puberty and needs a female to guide her.  As far as her behavior, you need to TELL your husband to grow some balls and get a backbone and to discipline his child unless he wants her to be coming home pregnant in the not too distant future.  Be BLUNT.  Be Straightforward.  Show him the ugly truth.  As far as counseling goes...okay so he won't go...what is stopping you and the stepdaughter from going?