Am I being unreasonable?!?!?!?

Question

I might just be overacting, I dont know but I am soo angry right now....My fiance and I are getting married in December this year. Anyway the groomsman has just dropped out of our wedding...because he moved his own wedding day forward to the day after ours, in a different state. What the? He has known for the last 8 months that we were getting married on that date which is out anniversary. He was planning his own wedding for march NEXT year. So why all of the sudden change the wedding date to the day after ours? There is no special reason to have then, he just decided to bring it forward. Now our friends are torn whose wedding to go to because the weddings are in different states! He didnt even tell us himself, we just heard through the grapevine which was confirmed with his father

Am I being unreasonable? I mean this is his groomsman, not just some aquiantence. Should he have been more sensitive in changing this date, or am I just being some big time bridezilla?

Answer 1

that sounds pretty wrong to me and what does your groom have to say about this? i think that they need to have a chat

Answer 2

Sorry to say yes you are being unreasonable..

Being in a wedding is not a legal obligation and anyone can opt out for any reason.. His own wedding is a pretty darn good reason.. Just find someone else.. There is also no law that says that a groomsman has to be a man..

Answer 3

no, that is rather rude and disrespectful.

I would talk to him personally and tell him how you feel politely, but firmly. If all is true and he refuses to change the date, then I would simply pick a new groom and go forward....most people involved in your wedding are not going to bail out for someone else's wedding. If they do, simply replace them too...and move on.

Answer 4

Women are always irrational before they marry. Just take a cold shower and cool off. Don't you let anything spoil the best moment of your life!

Answer 5

no, the guy seems like a dumbass, if he knew this whole time, then changed on you to the day after yours, thats ridiculous, and then to top it all off, he didnt even tell you himself!!!!!!!!!!! no, your being perfectly reasonable.......

Answer 6

No you're not. I think it's inappropriate for them to be basically copycats to you and your fiancé. Talk about being rude... If he were a true friend he wouldn't have tried to still you and your fiancé's thunder so much.

Good Luck and Congratulations

Answer 7

you have every right to be angry. i would NOT change the date because you set yours on that date first and he was selfish to change his to the day after yours and in a different state? id get a new groomsmen.

Answer 8

He should have been more sensitive with the date. Come on, that's rediculous! If that was me, I'd be ripping limbs apart. Well.. Not really. But I'd be infuriated.

He knew the date of your wedding, if he was going to change it, don't you think he could have picked a date a bit farther from yours?

I smell foul play.

Blahh. But yeah, you're not being unreasonable.

Answer 9

Reasonable?  Yes

Justified annoyance and anger? Yes

Worth letting it ruin your wedding and a friendship?  NO

The best you can do is let your fiance (yes him, not you) tell him that it's upsetting but that he wishes him nothing but the best.  Then get over it and enjoy your wedding, no matter how many people are there.

Answer 10

Hmmmm .  .  . perhaps his bride is pregnant, so they decided to move the date up?

I wouldn't take this so personally.  They must have their reasons.

Not to worry, all the important people will still be at your wedding.  It's not like your fiance and the former groomsman are related, so their family members must worry about which wedding to attend.

As long as groomsman is not related to you or your groom, this is not really a problem.  

Your wedding will be the local wedding, correct?  His is out of state?  If so, I am betting most of the mutual friends will be attending the local wedding, cos it's much easier than attending the out-of-state one.

So let him go.  Good riddance.  Now go find someone reliable to take his place at your wedding.  Perhaps a relative of you or groom will be happy to fill in?

If former groomsman and his bride are just trying to steal your thunder, then let them go.  Don't waste any more time over them.  Proceed with your plans as scheduled.

Answer 11

you have every reason to overreact. talk to the groomsmen himself, though, beacuse you may be able to convince him to change back the date.

Answer 12

no your not the dude shouldn't of done dat because if he is yalls friend den he wouldnt do dat to you and i dont dat is right

Answer 13

That's really rude of him in my opinion.  You should just make your wedding really awesome so everyone wants to go to yours instead, then he'll have no guests, haha.

Answer 14

Yes, it stinks but you can't do anything about it so why get upset? I wouldn't bother confronting him about it. It's not just about him. He has a fiance and she has family and friend also to consider. Give him a break.

Answer 15

He probably has some sort of personal reason, but I definitely don't think you're being unreasonable, it's not right to make all of your friends choose like that.

Answer 16

no way are you being a bridezilla! the guy didnt even have the decency to tell you, you heard it through the grapevine, and he knew for 8 months! what a crappy groomsman! find someone better and i hope all who already RSVPd to your wedding show up. def not unreasonable to be angry at all!

Answer 17

that is one of the rudest things i have ever heard of especially since it sounds like he is a good friend of yours

maybe u should talk to ur fiance an ask him to talk to him?

or talk to ur groomsmans fiance

u NEED to find out y he has done this and NOT TOLD YOU

its really rude

Answer 18

I can understand your frustration with the situation; but you should understand that his life is his, and as long as your FIANCE is going through with the wedding date that is all that matters.  He is the one you are going to be spending the rest of your life with! s***w EVRYONE else!!

Answer 19

i can understand your anger,but try to let it go and not ruin your special day.  maybe there is a really good reason why they had to move it forward that he doesn't want anyone to know about--baby on the way or someone in family is ill?

Answer 20

That is so so wrong! You're not overreacting at all! Has he already made all the plans yet or is it a tentative date? Talk to him directly and hear straight from him why he made the decision he did. It'll get worse if you start talking to others...

Answer 21

I would be wicked pissed.  It's just rude to make people choose which wedding to attend.  Although it seems to me that since you planned your wedding first, they should attend yours, but that's just my opinion.

Answer 22

He sounds like a jealous GREEN EYED MONSTER - playing childhood games.

Time to replace the groomsman and worry about your own wedding!

Answer 23

Don't forget that he has his own crazy woman to deal with.  I bet he didn't have a lot to do with it.  I understand that you're upset but you could probably chill out a little bit.

Answer 24

no bridezilla here ~ it was a tacky thing to do.

But ask yourself, was it his choice? or was it his fiance?

And men can get jealous too. maybe he was ticked off at the attention his friend was getting.

Answer 25

that was very rude.

he should know better than that or he could just do it like a week later and that would've been better so everyone could attend both weddings.

although, i would confirm the facts and make sure it's not just a misunderstanding and talk to him.

best of luck and congrats on getting married!! I hope you and your new husband have a wonderful life together!

God Bless!!!

:)

Answer 26

i bet there was a reason, maybe she's pregnant or something happened. it was a jerkoff thing to do, but not much you can do about it.

Answer 27

Well if the groomsmen knew for 8 months that you had your wedding set in December then he shouldn't have changed his wedding date.

BUT, did you or your finace do anything to offend him or hurt him to make him do this to you? If you did then I could see why he did that. But if nothing happened then it was wrong of him to do that.

Just don't make a big deal about it. Because the more you make a big deal about it, the more people aren't going to want to go to your wedding because they'll think that you're just one big bridezilla.

Answer 28

You're right that it's frustrating, but there's nothing you can do. Just have an amazing time at your own wedding, and don't worry about what other people decided to do. Seriously, don't waste a single second of your married life worrying about it.

Answer 29

No you are not being unreasonable. This is now effecting your wedding, I would be extremely pissed. Especially now that people are torn about whos wedding. People should go to your because you have been planning it this long. I would talk to him about it, if he changed it once he can do it again

Answer 30

WOW!! how could he have the guts to do something like that? no i don't think your being unreasonable at all, and also at such a stressful time. hope you the best of luck!

Answer 31

wow! no that sucks! its not just the fact that hes the groomsman, but now people are going to have to decide whos wedding to go to. no one needs extra stress on their wedding im sorry