Am I wrong for this?

Question

When I was about 1-10 my father drank really bad. He was a nice guy, loved me, very nice to me. But when he drank he was very mean to my mother, and me, he hit me, and pulled my hair, I had bruises. Even we he wasn't drinking when he got mad he was very mean, telling me he wished I was never born, etc. when I got in trouble.

He stopped drinking when i was about 10 and the hitting stopped, except for the rare occasion he gets really mad. But he is still verbally abusive.

I asked him about it one day and he told me he never did any of that stuff. He is a great dad. But he is like bipolar.

I don't want to say I was abused or anything, because he is a great dad. But it hurts, and it makes me angry. I don't know what to think, I need opinions.

Answer 1

i know how you feel, my mother use to beat me when i was around 12 or 13 yrs. old. wheh she was angry or something went wrong in her day, and like your dad she acts like it didnt happen it really pisses me off, but i've really come to peace with it and given it to god, like you should. i still love her the same but she can still be abusive at times.im 15 now, but the abuse has really died down now that im older, but i say that you should continuing living your life and still love your father and just pray for him.

Answer 2

He would be considered a mean alcoholic, and yes what he did would still be considered abuse. Even being verbally irate is considered mental abuse. If he is bipolar there are special medications that hospitals offer to help control these sort of things.

I would just be a little cautious when mentioning it to him, if this is what you decide to do.

My advice would be, first maybe fully convince yourself that what he was doing was abuse, and then maybe mention it to him. Tell him that your only intentions are to help.

I hope that I helped you.

Answer 3

Maybe in his (wrong-headed) view he wasn't abusive, it was probably how he was raised too so he didn't know better.

If you're looking for 'closure' by having him admit what he did (let alone that it was wrong), don't count on it. Just tell him exactly how you feel and let him chew on that.

You just have to let it go and focus on your own life.