Am I wronge for doing this????

Question

My kids playroom tv broke a few weeks ago. Even though we dont let them watch tv very much we do let them watch a little every day. While it doesnt seem like a big deal my 3 yr old is a VERY DIFFICULT child. Yes were are consistant with discipline, etc but he is a high needs child and as bad as it sounds that tv is what gives me the little bit of sanity I have becaus he will watch his PBS shows and mickey mouse club house on it while I clean, take a breather or heaven forbid take a shower LOL. Anyways....we like alot of america has been tight on money with the economy but today I finally went to good will and spent $40 on a halfway decent tv. My husband got kinda mad saying we cant afford it but I finally told him I need that hour or 2 a day for my sanity (3 yr old wont nap any more) and that I would find a way in the buget to afford it. Was I totally wronge for doing this??? Its not like we cant pay rent or the bills, we just have to be very careful for ONE WEEK untill he gets paid again. (and my mom who understands said she'd toss us a little money if we got in a bind)

Answer 1

I can understand why you want the TV.I'd be afraid to leave a 3 yr alone for more than a few minutes though.Can your hubby watch him when you get home.

Try to play games and physical activities with him.If he eats much sugar or anything with caffein,cut it back some.

Answer 2

I think it's smart to budget no matter what your financial situation is. However, you are the one home all the time and you know the routine. A 40$ TV might cut into something for week, but he really needs to consider your feelings. You shouldn't have to ask for permission to spend money, as long as it is within reason (and it sounds like it was). At times you have to cut into your budget a little to make life better or peaceful. If no one ever spent out of their budget- a lot people would be miserable. Cost of life, I call it. Watch spending for a couple of weeks and it will be fine.

I think it's better you went ahead and got one without talking about it or else it would've taken months with his attitude. Now it's over and done.  

Answer 3

As a mom of 6 and a difficult almost 3 year old I TOTALLY understand... your  time for yourself is priceless and you need that break .... husbands dont understand cause they get out of the house us moms dont get that  at all. You need that TV its a necessity.At least you went to Good Will and got a great deal...  it sounds like you have a great mom....  

Answer 4

you could always suggest to your hubby very sweetly that he could take the young for an hour or two after work so you could do the things you need to do. I mean I don't know about you but when I'm cooking dinner and my two year old is stuck to my leg I'm just so worried that something hot might splash on them. So either they can have there quiet (tv) time or daddy time.  

Answer 5

No - your sanity is the most important thing and if a couple of hours of television a day gives you this then good for you. He sounds annoyed that you didn't talk with him about it first but having said that he probably would have said no for no real reason which wouldn't have helped anyway.  

Answer 6

Not really, but there are probably other ways that you might have dealt with it... if you have a computer, renting some dvd's and playing them on there for your son might have worked.  But not everyone would think to do this or has the means to do it.

Answer 7

No, it's fine. Don't worry about it; we all need a little break sometimes.

Answer 8

Touchy situation.  I'll tell you why I think so...because I don't think it's right for one person to 'run the money'...but what to do when you don't agree.

First, he should try to be more understanding of your situation.

Second, you probably should have told him what you planned to do...before you did it.

Third, he should actually be proud that you went the cheaper route and did the goodwill thing and made an effort to save money.  $40 is a GREAT deal!!!!!

I actually think that if y'all were disagreeing about spending money on a TV then the goodwill purchase would have been a wonderful compromise, if you think about it.  He's saying spend none, you're saying I need for our child to have the TV break as an opportunity for you to have some "me" time...so instead of spending $200+ on a TV, you compromise and get a $40 one.

The catch, of course, is that the opportunity to compromise wasn't given since it sounds like by the time he found out about it, it was a done deal.

SO...go to him and explain again on why you NEEDED it and it wasn't just a frivolous "want" item...and then tell him, "Honey, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about the purchase before I bought it.  I do want to say though, that I think a goodwill purchase was a good compromise...I did go the cheapest route out of concern for our financial situation.  Can we end this problem with you understanding that I WAS considering our finances and with me apologizing for spending money without talking to you first?"

I hope that will help.  Sorry you're having a hard time of it just now with money...and I hope it improves soon! :)

Good luck!

Answer 9

No.  You didn't do anything wrong.  Tell hubby you're sorry for having to tighten the belt a notch for a week or two, but it is better than pulling your hair out every day.  These days most TV for children is quite educational and it does provide a much needed break for Mom.  Hubby will be over it next week.  Hang in there.

Answer 10

No you are not wrong for doing what is best for you.  Your husband is not home all day so it is difficult for him to understand.  Television allows you to do some things that are part of being a stay at home mother, and there is nothing wrong with that.  It's important that your husband trust your judgement instead of chastise your decisions.

Good for you.