Am i a bad mom?

Question

My daughter had an ear infection. We went to my little cousin b-day party at my grandma's house were all the kids were swimming. I had told her she couldnt go in because 1. she had been in the water all week leading up to the infection and 2. because i didnt want it to get worse. My point is my family got mad at me cause i woulnt let her swim they told me i was cruel and just a mean ol mom! i explained about her ear but they didnt care they said it would bother her. finally my mom told her just to go in half way so i said fine do whatever so she stuck her tongue at me and went in. later that night she was up crying about her ear. the next day she told my mom she was in pain so my mom yelled at me about letting her go to the party in the first place and said i needed to have control over her... UMMMM i thought that was what i was doing when they were telling my daughter it was ok. anyways they do this kinda c**p all the time and she has no respect for me what should i do?

Answer 1

next time do whatever you think is right and tell the others to cram it

Answer 2

grand parents are nuts lol my mom does the same kind of c**p to me and i hate it you did the right thing by telling her she couldnt go swimming her ear got worse because of your mom letting her get in the pool my advice to you is your her mother no one else you carried her for 9 months and pushed her out lol so you know what is best for her dont let anyone tell you different or that you are a bad mother you love her and you take care of her no matter what anyone else says you do the things you do becuase she is your dbaby and you love her and it is as simple as that and if they dont like it oh well well hun i hope this helps you good luck and your not a bad mom

Answer 3

If your daughter was sick you should have stayed home.  It wasn't the water that made her ear worse it was taking her to the party before she was over the infection that did it.  When a child has an infection their immunities are lowered and the infection becomes worse.  Your daughter was at a party rather than being home, getting rested.

Answer 4

I would say you were in a no win situation.  if you didn't go they would talk about how you didn't care enough to attend your little cousins birthday.  You made the effort to go and only stopped your daughter from going in the water for her own health.  I think your mother just felt sorry for your daughter and may also want to be liked by your daughter.  I think you mother only said what she said to you because she felt bad that her decision caused your daughter so much pain and discomfort.  I think that since it is your own mother you should be able to tell her the truth without her getting so offended that she never speaks to you again.  Families are the most important people in our lives so don't try and argue your point - just explain it calmly to them.

Answer 5

If she had been on antibiotics for at least two days, I would say it would be okay to take her around other people.  But, I would not let her swim.  If I knew that swimming was what the party was all about - I would not take my child.

No one should tell you to go against your rules whether your child is ill or not.  Don't blame yourself or them - but now that you know stay away from future gatherings where there will be any issues.  If they start simply pack up your stuff and go home.  You and your daughter can do something fun together.

This brings back a lot of stuff in my life.  My family did the same things.  I didn't want my daughter hearing what they said so we would leave early most of the time.

Answer 6

You were right to not let your daughter swim.  Her health is more important than having fun for the moment.  The tough thing about grandparents is that we have to be strong and not let them overstep their bounds and try to take control.  

On the other hand, if you knew there was going to be swimming at this party, you probably should have skipped it.  It wasn't fair to her to have to watch other kids play and not understand why she can't.  But it's okay.  Just something to think about for next time.

I don't think you're a bad mom.  Tell your mom to chill out or stay away from your daughter.  Sometimes you HAVE to be mean in order to remind them that YOU are in charge of THIS child.

Answer 7

You sound like a very good mother be proud you stood up for your self and took charge even if it did come crashing down first of all explain to your daughter that if she has a problem she needs to come to you not your mother she is YOUR responsibility not your mothers then call or invite your mother over sit her down and tell her that she can not control what you do that your a good mother and have control over your child that it hurts when she yells at you like that and if her and the rest of your family do more things like that like try to control you and your child that you are going to push them out of yours and your daughters life that they wont ever be aloud in again until they change their ways not you change yours make sure they know you are serious and if they start yelling or wont listen to you just make them leave and don't answer their calls just don't have any contact with them at all take charge in your life don't just let your daughter get in the pool cause your family is bugging you also if none of this works and they wont stop calling you or your child or wont stop trying to contact you call the police i know its harsh but you have to do something now or it wont ever go away your a fantastic mom and you are right about not letting her go in the water with an ear infection i have had very many many and they are very pain full try swimmers ear put a few drops in her ears every time she is done swimming hold the drops in a while then drain them out of her ear also have her take more showers then baths then she wont get as much water in her ears I hope all of this help I have family problems to and I know what to do.

.Riley

Answer 8

You are NOT a bad mom. I'm only 13, and I would understand if my parents did that to me. You should just go on what you think is right to do. She is YOUR daughter.