An Unfortunately Negative Sibling Relationship?

Question

So I'm 21 and I have a 16 year old brother. We get along well sometimes, and terribly others. Before yesterday, I would have said we have our ups and downs just like other siblings, but after yesterday, I can't say that. He was play wrestling with me yesterday and it got to a point where I wanted it to stop, so I kept telling him to stop. He wouldn't do it. It seemed like he had gotten some sort of need to exert dominance over me or something. So despite the fact that I kept telling him to stop, we got serious and ended up fighting. I don't like fighting, I've never fought with anyone else in my life. I would keep pushing him away from me and he'd come back. I'd try and walk away, he'd follow me. So yesterday turned into actual fighting. Though, to be honest, I still couldn't fight him like I was fighting a stranger, but he seemed to be able to.

It eventually got to the point where I wanted to call the police, since we were the only ones at home. Mother was out, dad was at work. I'm only living at home for the summer while I'm working an internship in the area. So I try calling 911 on 3 different phones, each one was either forcefully unplugged, or slapped from my hand. He's stronger than I am, and I wasn't 100% crazy upset, so I couldn't unleash any fury. So I suffered. I have a long red abrasion on my neck and a smaller one on my face. Oh, there was even a point where I was pinned down on the ground being spit on. That was fun.

Here lately I've been noticing that the more time we spend together, the more problems we have. We went somewhere to have fun last Saturday, and it turned into a very unpleasant outing for the two of us. I'm thinking that this isn't a healthy relationship for me, especially considering I was diagnosed with depression in January (though I have stabled out a bit, I do have bad days). What should I do? I want to find a way to emotionally detach, but I have very few friends and feel that I have very little support from home on this issue.

(Posting this here because I'm g*y, browse this forum often, and appreciate the input you all have.)

Answer 1

I'm sorry that you're going through that, no one should have to suffer like that in their home.  And it is YOUR home too, even if only for the summer.  Your parents should deal with his actions as he is still a minor and should not be allowed to behave that way towards you, 16 or 6 he should know better.  It's bullying plain & simple.  If your parents refuse to deal with the situation, especially since you have visible physical injuries, I would cut ties with him until he can grow up and start acting like a good brother instead of a brute.  *hugs!*

Answer 2

sweetheart, your brother has serious issues; he needs to have his anger and rage addressed with the help of a professional; in the mean time, i would NOT be alone with him for fear of your own safety

Answer 3

It sounds like he has some serious issues, but before you break it off with him, I suggest you talk with him about it when neither of you is angry.  

You might want to have a neutral person available to mediate the encounter so that it won't be as likely to turn into a slug fest.

Answer 4

Consider your age difference. I know it's not really much and that you've probably grown up in the same house, but your maturity level is probably much more than his. I believe that siblings must have common ground in order to co-exist. There is always proving ground in relationships where you've known people for a long time. Family, friends, co-workers, it doesn't matter, they'll always try to test you, tease you, or break you down. I think that everyone is just trying to find a weakness in us all. If they can catch us at a vulnerable time, all the better. So with your depression coupled with his youthful rage, consider it normal.