Question:

Another 13yr old poet??

by  |  earlier

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CHARLIE

Those sweet feelings I mean to write

those lovely intentions no pen may express

fly willfully from my reeling head

through neck, shoulder, and arm

singing as they soar

like flocks of beautiful doves

their whiteness blinding rays of hope

burning mortal eyes with purest love.

The platoon of peace-warriors

armed with olive branch

swoops into my awaiting hand

curled round expectant pen.

They crawl into that implement

of voice without voice

of speech without having spoken

and float down that inky river

until those sweet birds meet

that metal dam that damns those words

carried on the backs of angels.

Doves reduced to no more

than mere pidgeons

flee back to my bubbling, broiling brain

daunted by the pen-point

that rules an author's world.

And yet, no merely material thing

may hold a soul.

One day, the sheer pressure

of secret dreams and lifelong hopes

will shatter the earthly dam

abd loose love upon the paper

in a million different lines

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6 ANSWERS


  1. I love this poem, but aren't you worried about it becoming the property of Y!A once it's resolved?


  2. excellent poem very descriptive and detailed and judi is saying im a r****d and jealous cos u hv a way with words and all i hv is the fact I CANT SPELL!

    excellent poem

    good luck and write more

    Ash

  3. ooh i like it!!

    EDIT: i know you'd say no, but you're so good, and im in a band and we need one more song to make an album, and i was wondering, could you right me some stuff or something?

  4. The wording is way too simple. It just doesn't work for me. But, this poem reminds me of the poem Beowulf. Not the story of the poem, but the fact that Beowulf is about 500 pages long.

  5. um i think you should edit this line

    their whiteness blinding rays of hope

    it kinda not made sense to me

    other than that i think your very discriptive and gave a good amount of detail and made great comparison and yea what about this line

    abd loose love upon the paper

    i think you misspelled something=)

  6. y'm too yeers ole.

    y kan't read- rite- use peropper grammarish, or spell.

    y duffinetilly kan't lie uhhbout mi ege.

    y'm rill-e tirteen, 2!

    whe're sum kool t-naygerrs.

    ih'm allso badd att maychink mieself beeing konsistintid

    wut's a friggin consinent?

    did me mean continent?

    conntestant?

    protestant?

    ham i like a protester uhhve uh kweschin

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