Any Advice on Getting over this?

Question

I know I have posted this before, but I have some new information that I think might give me a more clear answer. Here is my story as I best remember it and as truthfully as possible. About a year and a half ago I got drunk at a bar with a friend of mine. Sometime while he was up and away or after he left, I was sitting on a patio with a woman about my age (21) and I wanted to make a move on her, so I kissed her ( it must have lasted for a few seconds, and I tried sort of using the tongue, but I am still rather timid and pulled away after a bit so it’s not like I really have her a chance to respond to it) . She didn’t say anything or ask me to stop, she seemed fine with it, maybe a bit surprised at most. Later I put my hand down her pant and touched her bottom , though as we were both sitting down so I don’t think I got down too far ( not that I was trying to, I’m not sure what I was thinking other than I was an idiot.)

Answer 1

the best way that i can answer this is ...

your gonna be fine ...

its okay i wouldnt consider that to be sexual assault ...

i think its all fair since u were at a party .... and crazier **** than that has happened trust me ...

so ur fine and not to be rude but she probly forgot about it and here you are all worried about it ...

well if u need to talk about it more you are more than welcome to e-mail me or IM me :D

good luck with feeling better about yourself ...

Answer 2

wow took me awhile to read.      

u may have violated her, but she had the opportunity to scream at u and do something later on. so who knows. dont feel that extreme about it though. doesnt make sense to beat urself up over something that happened so long ago.

think. at that moment she might have had a first experience. the curiosity in this situation alone was more than what she might have expected from herself. so if she didnt take action against u then u should count ur lucky stars. and dont ever do it again like that. u could run into trouble. affair of the heart and sexual stuff (shiver)  

Answer 3

ok,

first off, your seeking way to far into this and putting way too much pressure on yourself.  you were in a club, and drinking, and keep in mind that SO WAS SHE.  when a girl goes to a club, especially drinking while there, she expects to get hit on.  she may not have 100% approved of what you did by kissing her, but if she didnt, she should have either spoken up or moved away to the other side of the room or something.  the friend was simply being obnoxious, the girl probably mentioned to her friend that someoen kissed her, and the friend, being drunk herself, thought it was funny and decided to pester you about it.

the bottom line is this-

the girl you kissed probably doesnt even remember the incident, and i can guarantee she isnt sitting at home stressing over it like you are.

please, just let it go and move on.

Answer 4

OK, this is my take on what you wrote, from a girl's perspective..

The girl may not have minded. If she didn't react or ask you to stop, she was probably fine with it. If a guy did that to me and I didn't like it, he would definitely be the first to know.

When girls go out in groups alot of time's there is like an unwritten rule or code that we watch out for eachother. She may have been too drunk or basically told her friends she was looking to be up to no good that night. So it is fairly natural that her friend would say something to you whether or not what you did offended the actual girl. I wouldn't worry about what her friend said to you. We are all very protective of eachother whether the other person wants to be defended or not.

And if your friend told you that, then I definitely wouldn't stress over it. You are an adult, I'm assuming she was as well, there was no saying "no" which makes it somewhat consensual. While your actions were odd (in the pants situation) they are not unlawful.

I would let it go.

Answer 5

go back to that bar a couple times see if you see her or her friend and if you dapologizeze and if its her friend ask for her number or Email and say your sorry and say that you didn'tnt mean to make her feel un comfterbale and if  they are not there ask around a bit. And if you have her number or some way to contact her say your sorry however way you contact her and if this doesnt work atleast you can say you tried and you can get over your self!!!!!