A man was telling his buddy that he was lost in a fog bank in his helicopter. "I was flying in the Seattle area," he said, "and all I could see was an office building. I wrote WHERE AM I? on a piece of paper and held it up for the office workers to see. On a piece of paper they wrote back, YOU'RE IN A HELICOPTER. I immediately knew where I was and landed safely at Sea Tac airport."
His friend asked, "How did you know where you were?"
"Well I knew it had to be Microsoft's headquarters."
"Why?"
"Because the information they gave me was technically correct but absolutely useless."
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A woman was telling her friend that she had been married three times and was still a virgin.
"How is that possible?" her friend asked.
"My first husband was in the navy and Pearl Harbor was bombed on the day we were married. He went off to war and I never heard from him again.
"The second man I married was elderly and he died before we could consumate our marriage."
"What about the third man?"
"He was a Microsoft software engineer. All he did was sit on the side of the bed telling me how good it was going to be."
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