Anyone else totally overwhelmed?

Question

I just had a baby on the 8th of this month and I am just totally overwhelmed. I'm lucky if I am take a shower and putting on make up is a joke. I breastfeed around the clock every 2 hours and in the last 48hrs I have only had 4 1/2 hours of sleep! I am married and my husband took off the first 2 weeks after baby and it was not that bad I could actually take a shower every day and get 5-6 hours of sleep but now that he is back to work it's twice as hard. I have no clue how moms with newborns can do their make-up and go places! I can hardly think, let alone cook dinner and go anywhere and my baby is easy, very laid back personality. Am I doing something wrong? or is this normal? I eat, sleep when baby sleeps or I try to anyway because when he makes noises I wake up and I breastfeed, that's my life right now and I love my little guy more then life itself and would not ever change my life with him in it but this is very hard. I am going to stay at my moms house during half the week from now on so she can help me so I can get more sleep in.

Answer 1

I'd hate to say it, but welcome to motherhood! The first few weeks are tough...you've gone through so much and there is still much more to go through! It does get easier...or not easier, but you learn to adjust to your new role as mommy...so it seems like it gets easier. Just try to remind yourself that females have gone through this for years before us and they will continue to go through it years after we're long gone! It's like initiation to mommyhood. You'll make it...the best thing you can do is reach out for help. My son is 11 months old and anytime anyone comes over to see him I always sign them up on immediate baby duty so I can do dishes and visit, or jump in the shower, or run the vac, or sweep...take all the help you can get!!

Answer 2

You sound like my best friend, plus her son had jaundice, was born really early, and her and her husband were headind towards divorce. She just pumped as much as possible. Both my kids I took into the shower and when my husband is home I do the things I gotta do because I really need some time to just breathe. Sometimes I take an extra 15 seconds in the bathroom to calm down. I have two boys under two. I hear ya. Make your son your shadow. It will help so much.

perhaps consider sometimes using formula. if not, my friend was so against it, just keep pumping. it will help. dont forget to eat! or you will not be able to breastfeed because you won't have any milk. also ask your husband for help at night. if you do have any breast milk in a bottle let him feed him so you can get some sleep because you need to have your mind in order to take care of your son. i remember some nights with my oldest i would cry and cry because my son wouldnt stop. and my husband would just take him and i would feel SO bad but i needed to calm myself down because it was not healthy for me to be so overwhelmed like that. and i was working 40 hours in a state away.

Answer 3

Completely normal, it gets easier in some aspects as the baby gets older. I would say the first 5 weeks were the hardest on me with both my children. I don't remember what sleep is anymore. lol. I don't think I have had a full nights rest since my daughter was born 3 years ago. It will not hurt the baby to cry a few minutes while you put on your make up. Just have him next to you when he cries so you know he is not hurting or anything. It will get easier, I know it seems like now every time your baby cries, it's like it's grinding your brain, but you will get used to it, and know what each cry means, like a hungry cry, or a tired cry. Do you have a baby swing? That was my life saver after my first child. I didn't have one for about the first 3 weeks, and then after I got one I had a lot more free time while she was in it. good luck. and try and get some rest whenever you can.

Answer 4

I'm overwhelmed too and I've done this before! I just had my 4th baby and it doesn't get any easier. I had twins 10 years ago, so I thought this would be soo easy... lol.

Nope no make up here, lucky to go pee... Let alone shower! My little girl is high maintenance (insists on being held/walked). Haha and dinner's been really simple fare here too!

The good news is: It gets easier =)

Answer 5

That is completely normal!  You need to do what you can to take care of yourself and your baby and don't worry about silly things like makeup and going out.  When your husband is home, ask him to do things like cook and any cleaning you can get him to do.  You could try making sure he's actually waking up and wanting to nurse when he makes noises, if he isn't, go back to sleep.  Do what you need to do to make sure the essentials are taken care of and ignore anything else.  It'll get better as he gets older, even though it doesn't seem like it sometimes.

Answer 6

It is normal. It will get better I promise. I went through a similar stage also. You are not doing anything wrong. Sounds like hubby needs to take care of baby for at least a half hour everyday just so you can shower. Tell him. He gets his shower right? Isn't it funny when shaving your legs becomes a luxury. My mom was a life saver she took my son for one night so I could sleep. It made me a better mom. I understand you can't do that because you are breastfeeding but it sounds like she is really supportive and is gonna help you out. Eating is important for you too. It is hard to get all 3 meals in isn't it. I would suggest for the time being stock up on cereal. Not the greatest food but at least it is a quick easy breakfast & you only dirty two dishes. Toast is a good one too. Stock up on stouffer microwave dinners, sandwich stuff, microwave popcorn, granola bars, yogurt, cheese, fruit cups, fresh fruit, baby carrots etc. This way you will at least keep yourself fed until you have gotten the hang of juggling motherhood & house work. It's okay I feel like I finally got it down & my son is almost 9 months. You can catch up on house work later. Take care of yourself & your son. Here are some dinner ideas: spaghetti- use the jar stuff make it easy on yourself, tacos keep it basic, hamburgers, baked chicken & instant rice or potatoes,  take n bake pizza or frozen pizza, chili dogs, etc. You will be able to make more extravagant meals soon I promise. I know it is difficult your doing good. : )

Answer 7

Hi there,

My baby is 3.5 months old. It was completely overwhelming for me, and I had my father and mother come and stay with me, to rock the baby to sleep, when I was so exhausted that I may drop him, from lack of sleep. This gave me time to sleep.

My mum came and helped me during the day, and my dad at night.

I have breastfed exclusively, and have not supplemented with formula.

Like you, I was feeding round the clock every 2 hours.

I also had excrutiating pain in my nipples from breastfeeding (like being stabbed in the nipple), as my baby's mouth was small, and my nipples were large, so he was pinching them.

The breastfeeding was painful for 6 weeks, but after then, it has become great (that is, I need to breastfeed, and if he doesnt feed, I have the urge to feed him). It is satisfying now to feed.

Rest assured, that it will get easier at about the 6 week mark, and even better at about the 3 month mark.

My baby now gives me breaks of about 4 hours between each hunger cry, so I can do other things, shower, eat, rest etc during this time.

Keep your spirits up - not many women seem to talk about how hard it is in the early days, but it is!

Once you are through the early days, you will feel much stronger, and be so proud of yourself !!!

Answer 8

aww i remember feeling like that when i had my first son and i was freaking out about his college fund and so fourth... lol don't worry when your baby hits that six week mark it is safe for you to take him out schedule apt to have his pictures taken and when you do get out you will feel allot better but do try to sleep as much as you can while the baby sleeps!

Answer 9

welcome to motherhood hunny.  Yes we all feel like this in the beginning.  Your told how hard it will be before you have bubs but nothing can prepare you for the reality of how hard it really is! You can never imagine how much you will miss sleep until its taken away from you.  Not to mention all the worrying we have to do and the stress when we just cant get the baby to stop crying!!!

The good news- it gets easier.  ALOT easier.  My baby is 3 months old now.  I am getting a desent amount of sleep, have figured out how to calm bubs when something is upsetting her (most of the time) and even have time to go out and about again.  Only 2 months ago I felt exactly as you do.  You will get there too, you just have to stick it out and survive the dreaded beginning stage.  Im glad to hear you have a supportive partner and mother. Lean on them when you need to and before you know it you will be out and about enjoying life again with your little baby

Answer 10

Oh i know how you feel!! I have three kids and i am a stay at home mom trying to get one ready for school and the others fed before we leave is a joke! I have to do my baking ( i don't buy store bought bread or cookies etc ) laundry, house cleaning, and dinner! It was horrible when i had my youngest son because all the other kids wanted my attention but i couldnt give it to them when they wanted oh that was horrible!  But dont worry you are not doing anything wrong once you get into a routine things get much better!! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 11

I delivered on the 22nd of this month and my baby has her days and nights mixed up, so getting no sleep is rough at times.  Like you said, I am learning to sleep when she does.

It's good that you are going to let your mom help you.  My mom is a HUGE help to us!  Also, when anyone else you trust offers to help, let them!  We are adjustime to new motherhood, and have to cut ourselves some slack.  It sounds to me like you are doing everything right, and are going to be a great mom.  

Hang in there.  They say it gets better!

;)

Answer 12

This is perfectly normal! Isn't it insane that we send new moms home with no support? You're absolutely doing the right thing by sleeping when he sleeps, feeding him when he's hungry, and diapering him. Worry about NOTHING else. The day will come (and not very long from now) when he'll sleep a lot and you can have some time off to breathe.  You're doing just fine.  

Answer 13

yes its normal. i was so overwhelmed and could not enjoy by baby for the first 2-3 months. it gets better and then other stuff like teething etc start. as for getting help, make sure its help and not a hindrance.

dont worry hang in there. you are doing a fantastic job.

Answer 14

I gave birth on 6th aug and never had a peaceful sleep since then. I am exclusivly breastfeeding and my nipples are still sore. my baby never slept for more than 2 hrs in a row.i have support of my husband and my mother in law but still the responsibility is mine. i feel so overwhelmed tht daily atleast once i will cry.i also try to sleep when he sleeps but he keeps making these noisees tht i have to chk every 5 min if he's doing fine.i am jst waiting for 6 weeks when ppl says it starts getting better(atleast i hope so) But whatever,my son is here and i have to take care of him. i am his mom.might be a tough time, but tough times never last long. Hang in there sis,be strong:)

Answer 15

yes you need your mother to help you and she'll love you for it.but yep you got to jump on his schedule..lol it's all about him honey.the older he gets the more he will sleep and so will you .lol